This short part is dedicated to caucasian males. Typically the lowest-maintenance sex. Unlike the females, most males despise shopping. And basic cleanliness. And Project Runway. More on the ones that do later. Here are a few quick pointers as to what males need.
- Cable TV and a sock. Especially if it's particularly ugly and/or lives apart from females.
- Underwear with Family Guy pictures printed on it. (Look for a fat guy, football headed baby, and a dog walking upright)
- Any magazine where the cover features a female with a ridiculously small amount of clothing, unless it says 'Redbook'. That's for the females, despite how that makes little sense.
- Something to do with cars. Except for Cars the movie.
- Pants*
- A rude/sports/band t-shirt.
*Pants. Males have a preference. Some prefer them so tight they cut off the circulation to the knees and below, some so loose that they hang around their knees, and some that really don't care, so long as it's neither of the former. You just have to ask.
Males that like Project Runway and cleanliness and shopping
These males are gay. As in, they 'like' other males. Go by a combination of guidelines for females and males. But add in more hair products.
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The Care and Keeping of Humans
HumorLet's face it; even with multiple limbs and omnipotence, caring for your pet human can be a hassle. The tips in this guide should make owning your very own a human a little easier.
