Story of My Life ~One Direction Fanfic~ COMPLETED

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

They Don't Know About The Up All Nights (Sierra) - April 2009

In the holidays, because my parents work in the corner shop, with our house above we don't really go out much as they're in there 24/7. Non of us can drive and my parents are quite strict so we can't just walk out. That would just feel so weird to me. Like, I would never ever think about walking out on my own just to go for a stroll, it just seemed so bizarre and ridiculous! Where would I do? How? With who? Why??! The list just goes on! It's the most in-human thing I could think of. So I just sit at home, but I honestly hate holidays. My elder sister is revising which I don't mind as I understand that its important, so she just stays in her room. My two younger sisters just constantly make a mess its stupid! First of all they would paint, then play a board game, watch TV and then grab crisp from downstairs and just sit there eating infront if the telly, all on top of everything! Meaning they never put anything away. The just do different things ONTOP of there current rubbish. in the living room! Do you see how frustration that can be!?!

As everyone's busy, I practically run and take care of the house, despite the fact that I have work aswell. I would Hoover the whole house every Saturday, but every other day on holidays. I would scrub and clean both bathrooms on the weekend. I would sort and peg the laundry outside, I would sweep and wash all the dishes downstairs. I even cook for everyone! We all get our breakfast ourselves as we get up at different times, and I would wash all of their dishes. Then I would prepare lunch as my mum would be in the shop and my dad would be in the bank. I can cook currys, fry fish, chips burgers, kebabs, samosas, marinate chicken and then cook them into either wraps or pastries, any type of egg, rice, pasta, you name it! I swear, I could litteraly move out and care for myself even though I'm only 15...(nearly!) When its the holidays, your meant to be relaxing and recharging, but I just get even more worn out. I hate it. I hate holidays.

I also hate being close and spending time with my family. I always just end up hurt, emotionally. It's always nice to be with the people who understand you the best but, that's what I hate. The fact that my family think they know me, understand me. I just don't have anyone who knows me and understands me. For example, in Pakistan, our clothes get tailored so the woman takes our measurements. Well basically, when we for them back, it didn't fit me properly and they were too tight around my shoulders and breast area. My boobs aren't huge but my shoulders and rib cage are really broad. I try not to hate my body, but this makes finding clothes that look decent on me difficult. My mum got really annoyed as they didn't fit me, and made me feel like shit.

"Ive told you to lay off the chocolate."

She said that to my face. She told me I was fat in a disgusted tone. It felt like I'd been stabbed. How could I be expected to ignore all those rude comments and and hate if my own mother makes me feel like crap. Took the clothes off and put them away, and quickly slipped into the bathroom, locked the door and slid my back down the door, bringing my knees up toward my chin, tucking my head into my chest, in a fetus position, not bothering to even turn the light on. I just sat there, in the dark, and allowed myself to cry, even though I hesitated to do so. I let all my guards down this time. I found this circumstance acceptable for my tears. I just cried and cried, cautiously as I didn't want anyone to hear. My elder sister called for me, and over the years I had gained the skill to speak completely normally even though the tears streamed down my face.

After about twenty minutes, I dicided that that was enough crying for one day. I slowly stood up and waited until my head was no longer spinning and my legs stopped tingling. Getting blinded by the sudden brightness of the house lights, I walked to my room, pushed everything on my bed off, onto the small area of floor I had, and curled into my blanket. My eyes felt swollen and puffy as I glanced towards the mirror they looked so small. I controlled my breathing and tried to sleep. But I didn't sleep that night. I sat on my bed motionless, senseless. I sat there until I began to hear the birds from outside, signalling that the sun was rising. I slowly climbed out of bed, and gazed at the small peaks of sun appearing above the houses, mystified. Life is so precious, I thought to myself as I watched two birds dance together in the new golden light. Life gives us more cons than pros. And, to be able to ignore them all is a skill I have not yet mastered. I turned to face my mirror. So many expectations, so many doors in the way. Pulled my P.J. sleeves up and dragged my sharp nails across my arms, leaving thick, red skin lines. I didn't feel the burn, so I did it again. And again. Again. Again.

Until I need a plaster.

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