i leave you with these letters

entry 3

i wish that i could say that something good happened today, but that would be a lie.

i'll admit it, i picked up the blade. and i cut....but as soon as i saw blood i panicked.

i didn't realize how far i had gone, but my arm.....it wouldn't stop bleeding.

eventually i had taken care of it..but as soon as the bloodflow stopped, i missed it. i actually think that i liked it. i liked the way it felt. the way it let everything out.

but then....soon...i ended up passing out.

i'm not sure if it was from blood loss, or low blood sugar, since i hadn't eaten yet. either way...i was out...for about fifteen minutes.

then, mikey showed up.

no warning or anything.

"i had a feeling that you needed me" he had said.

at first i was worried, and kind of creeped out, not able to talk or move.

then he saw my arm. i had forgotten to cover it up.

michael just looked at me, reaching gently for my hand...well...my arm.

i let him take it.

he carefully ran his finger down my arm, causing me to flinch.

without saying anything, he hugged me.

we stayed like that for a few minutes.

it didn't matter though. i kinda liked it.

we hung out for the rest of the night.

he acted like he didn't see my cuts, and promised not to tell anyone.

he fell asleep an hour ago.

he's just laying next to me, sleeping.

i don't mind though. it's okay.

~present~

"you knew? you fucking knew?!" calum yelled at michael, as ashton sat there, too shocked to say anything.

"i...i promised him not to tell anyone. i..i..i couldn't break my promise," mikey said, looking down, thinking.

"calum, calm down. you know you would've done the same," ashton told him.

"i guess, but..."

"but what, cal?" ashton asked.

"i don't know....this..i don't know."

Hey guys. So, I think I'm going to stop with the "present" things for now.

Anyway, thoughts on this so far?

I'd love to know...

That's it for now
Byeee Xx