End of the Line (sequel to Broken Soldier)

Zekes plan part 1

Bucky's POV

Sam heated up the tea, and gave me a steaming cup. He sat down across from me, but I avoided his gaze. This was going to take forever to get used to the swing of things. After being an Assassin, it took me more then two years to relax and become a "normal" person again. From the corner of my eye, I could see Sam watching me carefully. I gripped my mug tightly, absorbing the heat into my hands. Neither of us said a word, we just sat there in the silence, in the dark.

"Bucky, do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked carefully, knowing he was stepping on dangerous waters.

"No, I'm okay, Sam. It was just a silly nightmare, I have them all the time." I answered quickly, taking a sip of my tea.

"Yeah, Winter Soldier nightmares. Bucky, these are hell memories. They are going to be worse, and you won't be able to just sleep through them. I just want you to know Dean and I are here for you. Buck, you do know that we both went to hell. And just like you, we thought it would be better to keep it bottled up inside. It's not." Sam tried to reason with me.

I restrained myself from slamming my hands on the table, but instead took a deep breath. My eyes met Sam's for the first time since we sat down, and I noticed he had dark circles under his eyes. He slouched forward more then he usually does, and his hands shook ever so slightly. Sam was sleep deprived. But why, is the question?

"Sam, why are you sleep deprived?" I asked bluntly.

He stuttered for a moment, and gave me a "how did you know that look." Sam shook his head of the thought, and focused his gaze back on me.

"We're talking about you right now, Bucky." He sighed tiredly. Sam hasn't gotten good sleep in weeks.

"And I changed the subject to you. Why aren't you sleeping? And you're going on hunts with Dean. Does he know? Do you understand how reckless that is? On the battlefield and the hunting filed, you always need to be on your guard. And not sleeping, is making you tired, which makes you lazy, and if you get in a fight with a demon or any monster, you will lose that fight. Sam I dealt with sleep deprived soldiers for five years, and I lost them. That's when I put my foot down, and made sure no soldier was sleep deprived. I don't want to loose you, so tell me."

"Bucky, you don't know how hard your death was on me. How hard it was on all of us. I love you Buck, and I lost you. That tore me up on the inside, so yes, I haven't slept much. Every time I close my eyes, I see you with four bullets in your chest, and your unblinking grey eyes. God, those grey eyes were so cold. Not like the ones I used to know, or the ones I still know. They haunted me. And some nights you look over at me, and tell me it's all my fault I let you die. So yes, I am sleep deprived, but it doesn't matter."

"Sam, my death wasn't your fault..." I was cut off by Sam slamming his hands on the table.

"You don't get it Bucky, it was my fault..." My turn to cut him off.

"Were you the one to shoot me? To give me a serum that turned me back to normal? Did you kill me? No, so you can't blame yourself like this." I tried to reason.

Sam shook his head, and sat there quietly. It just doesn't make any sense, and I wish I could find out why he blamed himself.

I stood from the table, and put my mug in the sink. I met Sam's gaze, and gave him a small smile.

"It wasn't you Sammy." I plainly answered.

Without another word, I made my way back to our room. I flopped on the bed, and just laid there. There must be some way I cam help Sam. Some way I can see why he thinks this way.

Sam's POV (the next morning)

I sat at the kitchen table, after getting no sleep again. All I could see was Bucky, bloody and scarred, screaming it was my fault. Hopefully now that she's back, I won't have these nightmares anymore.