Bloodlust | ✔

Chapter: 18- It's Over

"There were a thousand ways to have you, I chose not to need you."

I let the world fall far behind me in attempt to escape the uncontrollable emotions stirring within me. I was running away again, not long before I fell hard to my knees in the most secluded part of Istanbul streets I wailed loudly.  Why was I crying so pathetically I wasn't sure. He was back, or he didn't acknowledge me? The fact that his gray eyes still held resentment of two years before hurt me or the fact that I was a coward seemingly I was strong in many ways I was weak too, like any being I had a point of exhaustion, I wasn't invincible.

Red covered my green gaze, my heart clenched terribly to the point where it hurt, I wish I was invincible. In the distant I heard far away shouts resonating around the city, an echo that reached my ears but fell clearly deaf. I wanted an escape, I wanted to cry so much, I wanted to die. Matting my expensive dress against the rough ground, I leaned my back on the wall and for the first time saw where I had ended at this time of the night. I was near the docks, boats floating on the water, empty area with no life but the silent sound of the waves. It was serene, I hugged my knees to my chest and stared blankly, what had I done to myself. I had gone out to destroy a monster, became myself one then again destroyed myself. My vampire speed brought me out here and I had a feeling Zander would be worried sick, hopefully he had not followed because I did not feel my senses intact.

Before I could protest I felt the most pleasant overwhelming presence of all, I smelt him before he appeared. I knew he was here, the fact he came after me made a sob escape me, blood tears flowed out.

"Alex.." I croaked as I closed my eyes and let oblivion take over me. I cried so much I didn't take notice of strong steele like arms circling my small, broken frame. I couldn't hear his whispering of sweet nothings, I couldn't feel his petal like lips pecking my skin, I didn't see his angel like face drop into the crook of my neck, I was so oblivious I wanted to fade away to the darkness but something held me back from it, something forced me to open my eyes and see the reality of life, something made me want to decide for myself.

"Zarah.." I choked on my own tears as I pried myself away from him in shock, in desperation. This couldn't be real. I wiped my red stream of tears away and gaped at the marvellous structure crouched in front of me.

He looked ever dashing, his never ending beauty luminated the moon perfectly, he was so adequate I felt out of place in my crazy mess.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to ask, flabbergasted. I pushed myself away and tried to blend into the wall.

He sighed, "Trying to help you."

I shook my head, no no I meant.. "what are you doing here in Turkey, in the ball?" I asked still out of breath, his voice like velvet pleasure to me.

I closed my eyes after drinking him in. His sharp jaw held a slight beard, his nose a little crooked from time and his magnetic steel eyes always so alluring. I noticed how much I missed him, his humour and his little friendship offered to me.

He slid down to the wall next to me too and sighed, letting his knee brush against mine sending electrical shots through my numb body. I gasped and sat straight, trying to avoid any contact he smirked pleased he still affected me.

"I came bacause I was invited by Isabelle's father." I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away not wanting to see the truth anymore. He was engaged, involved with someone else, he belonged to Isabelle.

I remained silent, just watching the boats float on the steady water, calm weather. The cold of Istanbul didn't affect us one bit as we were cold to the core ourselves. I was glad I could deal with the sharp winters, news like this could crush any normal human but not me. I was just taking it all in managing to surpress my misery.

I waited two years for nothing. I had waited like a fool, false hope.
"Zarah.." he called and when I did not respond he turned towards me waiting for a response I didn't have the power to give, he suddenly, violently pulled my legs to him making sure I straddled him.

"Look at me when I talk, you could at least owe me that." He gritted, his gray eyes flashed silver in passion or raw rage? I was confused and I didn't want to believe anything, anymore.

He sighed, letting his forehead press against mine as I let myself drown into his warm body. I could feel his breath blow onto my face, his dark locks fell down tickling my skin. I liked this intimate, personal moment, there was nothing sexual, it was all about just two lost people wanting to find peace once and for all.

"I missed you." I blurted out suddenly, but I didn't regret saying it this time. I wanted to tell him everything whether it was right or wrong he had to know, woth determination I opened my eyes and was met with his intriguing gaze.

"I missed you Alex, I.. I regret hurting you." I paused moving back a little, I kept my eyes on his. "I wish things were different." I gulped down my sorrow. Cupping his angular, chiseled face I said, "Your presence never left my being, in all the cold depths you wandered deep to keep some part of me human and warm. You kept me alive even though I felt dead." I revealed.

There, I was an open book, I let him in, I let him see what I had not let anyone see. I wanted him to know me better and not just in bed but in life too.

He watched me curiously, he watched me steadily, his gaze mysteriously blank. I had a sinking feeling I was going to die today if he walked away.

His stare weakened me, uncertainty took hold of me, I dropped my hands down and gazed back, my eyes displaying my heart.

He brought his hand up to my face as he traced my stained face, tracking my tears he let his thumb caress my trembling lip, I gasped at the soft contact, shivering with pleasure. He opened his mouth to produce words my life depended on at that moment but then like it came it vanished, his face and emotions hid behind the mask he so professionally portrayed. I watched fearfully as his eyes swept up and met my vulnerable ones, I gasped as I saw the cold, implacable hard gaze. What had just happened, his hand tightened on my face almost venomous.

"It's too late." His ice cold breath knocked my own weak breath out of my lungs as I stared shocked. I was expecting something else entirely, I was such a fool I was so weak I.. I .

He smirked, "Here's your happy ending little vampire, you'll live with eternal sorrow of the Black's" he paused moving away from me now, "Learn to remember nothing goes by unforgiving and unforgettable." In my numbe state I moved off of him and just watched his graceful posture as he stood up and was ready to leave when words occurred to me. I looked up at the giant storm standing over me.

"I will never forget you Alexander." And I will always love you I said to myself silently as I turned away and waited for him steps to fade into the dark night and away from my tired, scared and vulnerable form.

I didn't deserve him, I deserved this sadness, I was a wench he did not like. I should've known I was going to live an eternal life of pain, but time healed everything, my day was to come, I was to be born again but like a woman and not a girl. Every teenage girl had her first live and heart break I just had pain awfully and now I had a lot more adventure to come.

With shaking legs I stood up and walked the opposite way, my feet ordered to take me home to the once person i loved and trusted wholly; my brother.

This was over for me but not for him, he will always remember there was a little vampire girl who wrecked his life over in mere days, I was trouble he sought to end.

With a new found strength I peeled my shoes off, with my heels in one hand I padded my way back bare foot. Deshiveled and broke, a mess that was caught in storm I walked back with a smile of power. I was not going to be weak no matter how much my heart wailed I was going to make sure I lived the nights in triumph till my eternal Dalmatian.