Scar (GxG)

Chapter 5

After hearing Amanda's question I blatantly stared at her. I didn't really know what to tell her. I would love to say yes, but there is a nagging voice in my head. Being Amanda's girlfriend would bring me nothing but joy. But why is there something telling me not too?

I don't want her to be dragged down by my baggage. My past is now shaping my future and I don't want her caught in the crossfire. She has a family and friends back in Australia who love and care about her. I can't destroy their lives because of my feelings. I won't let her die because of me.

Then there is the other part of me thinking that if I say no it's going to crush her. I would always do anything in my power to make her happy. Sad Amanda makes me sad. She is such a wonderful person and I will do anything to make her happy.

"I would love to be your girlfriend." I said after thinking things over.

The smile that appeared on Amanda's face after I said yes made all my seconding guessing's disappear. Nothing else was said between us and we sealed the deal with a kiss.

The following morning I don't think I have ever been so happy about getting up for school. When I woke, I found Amanda still asleep next to me and I couldn't help but smile. It's at these times I can really appreciate Amanda's beauty. Her shoulder length blonde hair spilled all over the pillows. She doesn't like to tie it up before bed because she claims it gives her headaches. The freckles on the bridge of her nose are just barely visible in the little amount of the light.

Carefully I moved onto my side to get a better look at my girlfriend. God that sounds so weird coming out of my mouth.

"So how long are you going to stare at me?" Amanda asked quietly.

"You're my girlfriend now, so I can stare as long as I want." I answered.

Amanda opened her blue eyes and moved closer to me. Our noses touched and I put my arm around her waist, pulling her into me even more.

"I like that word." Amanda said.

"Girlfriend?" I asked.

"It sounds good coming out of your mouth." She said. I just smiled and rested my forehead against hers.

"We have to get up for school." She said breaking the nice silence.

"Not today. Dante and his men are getting our schedules and the building layouts so they can protect us." I said remembering the text I got last night before bed.

Amanda sighed and pulled away from me a little bit. I know this is going to be hard for her but we will get through it.

"So then what can we do today?" She asked.

"Anything you want, expect going to school." I answered.

"We need to go food shopping, there is nothing in the house." Amanda said.

"Then we shall go." I said.

We got up a few minutes later and got ready to go. I made a phone call to Joe about our plans and he said he will pick us up in a few minutes. When he was here he gave me a call. We met him downstairs and were on our way.

Food shopping with Amanda was very domesticated. It felt like I was getting a peak at my future, of what it could be like if I were to stay with Amanda. It was a really nice change of pace that I truly enjoyed. I took one of my cameras with me and got some fun shots of us.

After shopping Amanda and I went back home and relaxed for the rest of the day. Amanda taught me how to make some chicken dish because she believed that I needed to learn how to make myself something good to eat for dinner instead of sandwich's or mac and cheese. But it's also really nice to have my roommate/girlfriend be a culinary major.

Actually I learned quiet a bit about Amanda today. I found out that she really loved to cook. Like this is her passion. I know she likes to cook but didn't know she liked it this much. Amanda also told me a little bit about her life and childhood in Australia.

Amanda comes from a little town outside Sydney. She still stays with her parents when she goes home for the summer. Unlike myself, Amanda has two siblings, an older brother named Tomas and a younger sister named Amelia. Then she talked a lot about her dogs.

I don't think I have ever seen her so happy before. I know that she loved to cook but she definitely loves her dogs more. They have 4 dogs in total; all of them are Golden retrievers. Once she told me about them, Amanda proceeded to show me hundreds of pictures of them. I found it adorable.

After she was done showing me pictures Amanda and I started to clean up the mess we made. When we were done Amanda and I went to my bedroom. We settled on my bed and Amanda turned on Netflix.

As we were laying in bed that day somewhere along the way we ended up face-to-face. Amanda's arm is around my waist and we are almost in the same position we were in when we woke up this morning. My hand is slowly moving hair off her exposed shoulder.

"Tell me about your past." She asked with her eyes locked on mine.

My hand stopped and retracted from her shoulder. My eyes dropped from hers and I just nudged my head into her neck.

"Nothing is going to hurt you here Scar." Amanda said and pulled me into her. I know Amanda deserves an explanation because now her life is in danger.

I grabbed her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. She knows it's hard for me to talk about this and as long as she gives me the time I'll explain. Her thumb running along my scar made me look at her.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said.

It took me a few minutes to open up to her but once the floodgates opened it was hard to get them closed again. I told Amanda pretty much everything, expect why I'm fighting. That's just between Dante and I. By the time I was done I cried a river but I felt lighter. Like I finally got a weight off my chest. I don't think I have ever been more venerable in my life.

This story time was huge for me. I just hope Amanda knows how big this was for me. I just gave her the key to unlock my scars. I just hope that she keeps that key safe and doesn't lose it.

Amanda wiped away the last of my tears and rubbed my scar again. I don't know why, but her doing this calms me down. It's comforting that something so ugly could now give me peace. It was then that my eyes dropped down from Amanda's eyes to her lips. When they flickered back up to her eyes, I found her eyes on my lips.

When her eyes came back up to mine she realized she was caught, Her cheeks became red and I couldn't help but smile. I got closer to her. I'm about to kiss my girlfriend for the second time. 

Then our lips touched. Amanda and I have kissed before but none of them have felt like this kiss. The last time was almost a year ago when we hooked up. That night was just full of sexual frustration coming out. Now, this kiss holds so much meaning to me. I'm giving my heart to Amanda, and I want her to have it.

When I no longer could breath I pulled away from her. I wish I could kiss her forever like this.