Phan one shots

Take me back to the start

Summary: Dan and Phil were childhood friends that separated and are now reunited. Both boys have changed a lot.
Type: fluff and angst
Triggers: cancer??

PHIL'S POV

"Excuse me sir?" I hesitantly ask. A man my age has been knocking on the door of the house next to me for 10 minutes. He turns and looks at me. He squints to see me past the sun and waves. "Hi! I'm just here to visit!" I laugh and lean out the window. "Mrs. Howell isn't in right now. She'll be back soon!" He laughed. "You'd think she would be home to see her son wouldn't you?" My heart stopped.

"Dan?" I scanned his features and began to recognize my old friend. "Phil?" He exclaimed. I ran down the stairs of my house and burst out the front door. We raced towards each other, my bare feet slapping the green grass. We grasped each other tightly as if we were afraid one would have to move again.

"Your home!" I laughed. He held me closer and laughed with me. "Yeah I am. Your hair is black." I grin. "Yeah it is." He let go and I suddenly felt like the seven year old he once knew, not the 23 year old victim of cancer. The ten year old he said goodbye to was crying and screaming as I opened my mouth. "Want to come in for tea?" He nodded eagerly. "Matt might be home soon so you can meet him." Dan raised his eyebrows. "My.. Boyfriend."

He choked in surprise and grinned. "How long have you guys-" I cut him off. "Two years." He smiled wider. "That's great, Phil!" We walked towards my front door in silence. "How bout you? A girlfriend?" He shook his head. "Last relationship I was in left me with this." He pulled up his shirt to reveal a scar about the size of a children's shoe. I gasped and ghosted my finger over the harsh skin. "Dan! Oh my god, are you al-"

He gave me a heart melting grin and nodded. "I'm better than ever. Really!" I dropped the subject but didn't forget it.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

The whir of a car in the Howell's drive way notified Dan that it was time to go. He gave me a hug and told me he would visit later. "Dan, I need to tell you something." I whispered. Dan nodded, waiting for me to go on. "I have-"

Matt burst in. "Honey I'm home!" He called. I cringed and yelled. "I'm in the living room with an old friend!" Matt's lanky figure appeared in the door way. His arms steadied a backpack over one shoulder and a half empty coffee in another. "Who's this." Dan smiled. "Me and Phil used to be best friends." Matt twitched. "Phil and I." He corrected. Dan gave him a puzzled look. "Okay well, I was just about on my way out. Bye Phil!" He called.

I waved back half heartily. The unspoken words burned my tounge as the words begged to be let out.
I bit the inside of my cheeks in anger. Matt leaned over and pecked my lips. "Its gonna be okay." He said. I looked him in the eyes and wished it was true.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Dan came over the next morning after Matt's car had pulled out. "I don't think your boyfriend liked me much." He laughed. I agree but I didn't say anything. "Want to come over to mine? My parents got a new dog and a Wii." I nodded excitedly and we both stumbled a crossed the lawns again.

The door to the Howell residence was pushed open and the smell of baking apple pie drifted out. I inhaled the wonderful scent and looked around. Not much had changed in the past 13 years. Pictures had been replaced with new fresh ones, couches rearranged, but the smell was the same. A puppy bounded in to the kitchen barking its head off. I picked it up and scratched the small brown head. "Daisy." Dan said.

"Hello, Mrs. Howell." I smiled. She gasped. "Phil? I haven't seen you in ages since you had surg-" I put a finger to lips and she shut her mouth. "Anyways hows Matt?" I smiled. "We're fine." She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Just fine?" She asked. "Just fine." I confirmed.

The alarm on the stove began to go off and she squealed. "Oh my pies are ready! Bear, come help me will you?" Dan rushed in and took the crisp pie out of the oven. She gave him a loving smile and turned off the still ringing alarm. "You boys go have fun yeah?"

We take off for the basement. My feet know the way, the five year old in me in filled with glee. I sprint down the stairs and collapse in a heaving mess on the old beat up couch. The brown leather is peeling in some places and the cushions sink too far in when you sit but it reminds me of our old sleepovers.

"What were you going to tell me the other day?" Dan asks. "It nothing." I lie, the words sting. He rolls his eyes. "Phil we're best friends! You can tell me everything!" I still. "Were." His face crinkles. "What?" He asks. "Were best friends. We were!" I shout. His face is crumpled in sadness and he says. "Why cant we be now?" I don't have an answer for that question so I don't say anything.

"What happened?" He's laying right next to me now. Two inches away. I breath out. He breathes in.

"Did Matt do anything?" I shake my head no. He scooted closer. "Did I do anything?" I think of all the times I cried because of Dan, all the times I longed for him, all the times I wanted to hold him, kiss him. I shake my head no. "Does my mom know?" He asks. I nod. He stands up. "You seem really upset. Stay here."

He skips steps as he rushed to his mother. I wait. I breathe out. I feel a sting in my chest as I breathe. Dan returns. He has tears running down his face. We stare for a few seconds and then we're a mess of tears and sobs. His arms hold me close so I can hear his heart beat, I cry into the black fabric that separates me from his heart.

"I just go you back!" He cries. I breathe out. I feel like a volcano, waiting to erupt. Lava burns inside my chest. "Cancer?" He asks. I nod. He chokes on a sob. "Is this a sick joke." He asks. I don't say anything, I almost wish it was.

Cancer, a disgusting word for a disgusting thing. The pain in my chest swallows me whole. Blackness.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I open my eyes slowly. "Phil!" Dan calls. He squeezes my hand. "Its okay, everything's okay." I believe him for a second. I breathe out. No pain. A tube tickled my nose so I reach up to take it out. Dan swats my hand away. He says something like don't and that's important. I nod and rest my hand back on his. "Matt?" I mutter.

Dan sighs. "We notified him but he refused to come in." I breathe out. A little pain. Not from breathing but Matt. I feel a tear slip out my eyes. He never like my cancer. He said he loved me but couldn't stand the illness. I wonder if what's growing inside me determines if I'm worthy of love.

"Just got me back." I whisper. He sucks in a breath and holds it. I breath out. Pain. He glances around and I close my eyes. He looks back at my paling face and starts to cry.

"Don't leave me now!" He screams. I breathe out. "No no no no!" He shouts. I hold my breathe for I am a volcano, and I erupt.

Sad short and not so sweet.

Love u guys
J