A Super Smashing New Year's

Pieces of the Story

~Link's P.O.V.~

I was sitting at the table with Ike, Palutena, Captain Falcon, and Pit. I glanced at the clock.

2:00? Damn, gone for longer than I thought.

"So Link what exactly happened? You seem like your normal self now, so what was the problem?" Palutena asked me.

I explained to them how I felt insane and that the alcohol really got to me. Chaining myself up to rid myself and prevent myself from causing any further harm. Meditating and relaxing after violently trying to wish I hadn't done this. Zelda finding me and coming back here. All leading up to now.

"Ok, elf boy. Now I gotta ask... when was the last time you had a drink? Because I don't know how it effects elves, but every time I drink I never get that out of hand." Falcon asked me.

"Hmmm..." It took me a second to recall. "About maybe 4 or 5 years ago." Ike looked at me stunned.

"So, you, the guy who was complaining about being dared to binge drink had his first shot at the age of 12? Da fauq, man. I wasn't allowed to try beer till I was 20. And I'm 21."

"Well remember, elves age rather slowly. The longest elf lifespan I have heard of is 678 years. Well, elf years that is. So I am allowed... but it doesn't mean I should."

"So what are you in human years?" Pit asked.

"About 289."

"Wow. You could be my great, great, grandfather." Ike said.

"Yeah well with that kind of aging, he 'would' be my brother." Pit said and I turned to him.

"Well how do angels age?" I asked.

"One angel year for every 18 human. And I'm 16 angel. So I'm 288 in human." He concluded. Falcon looked at Palutena as if to say something but he was cut off.

"No, I'm not telling you how old I am. It's not polite to ask a Goddess her age. Besides, I'm immortal so I don't have much need to care about it and age is a mere number."

"I wasn't gunna ask that." He mumbled, sounding defeated and turned away. We all chuckled.

"So enough about my crazy b.s. what happened while I was gone?" I asked. Pit and Captain Falcon exchanged puzzling looks.

"We gotta tell them eventually." Pit said, sounding a tad worried.

"Alright, where to start, where to start..." Falcon mumbled.

"What's wrong?" I asked a bit concerned.

"Well..." Pit turned around to face the rest of the table as well as Falcon and I. We were waiting for him to continue, but he didn't.

"What are you waiting for Pit?" I wondered. He took a deep breath.

"To put it simply from what I can recall... I passed out after you left, Pittoo and I were in the infirmary wing for about 15 minutes then we went back to the screening room where we saw Marth and Rosalina. The four of us watched the New Year's performance and the fireworks on the big screen. When that concluded Pittoo remembered Samus saying something about a huge fireworks show at the big bridge. So we went there and watched for like an hour. We came back to the screening room and..." He stopped. "Uh... how to put this."

"What happened?" Ike questioned and looked at him. Pit seemed on edge.

Don't tell me...

"...IKE AND LADY PALUTENA HAD SEX THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE OUT! WE HEARD A WEIRD NOISE, OPENED THE DOOR and Pittoo was so shocked he wouldn't let me see, because I had absolutely no idea what was so bad at the moment but this morning with that stupid dare Pittoo and Marth told me that that had happened and now I know and I KNEW there was no way you'd believe me and-" He spoke insanely fast. Ike and Palutena looked at him confused, but I looked surprised. I believed him.