Crybaby

1

I was a sweaty mess, pumping away, moans escaping my mouth as I finished all over my hand, the porn still playing softly in the background.
"MICHAEL"
Oh fuck I thought to myself as I quickly wiped my one hand on a tissue while pulling my pants up with the other.
"WHAT" I yelled back at my mother who had called me a few seconds before.
I quickly turned off my laptop and threw it on my pillow.
Right as I zipped up my skinny jeans my mum entered the room without knocking, like usual.
Well that was good timing I thought to myself imagining her reaction if she had walked in on me wanking.
"The new neighbours are here and I want to introduce them to you" she gave me a knowing glance while raising an eyebrow. Great, I know what this means.
"Right well I guess I'll change then"
I shook my head to myself as she walked out, closing the door behind her.
I took off my shirt that had a few profanities written on it and changed into a plain white longsleeve.
Might aswell put some different pants on too I guess
I thought to myself while unzipping my black skinny jeans and replacing them with-- well fuck I don't have any clean pants.
I debated keeping my black skinnies on but then I noticed a few white smudges on the front zipper part and I'm guessing it wasn't pudding or mayonnaise.
I hesitantly settled for a pair of jean shorts that I used to wear a few years ago that had been lying in the depths if my closet for a while now.
Fuck it.
I fixed my red hair up a bit so it wasn't so messy and walked out to meet my mum in the living room. She was putting out a tray of her famous chocolate chip walnut cookies which I didn't hesitate to grab 3 of.
My mum gave me a quick glare before setting a few mugs down near the teapot that had already been on the table beside the cookies.
I took a bite into one of my cookies.
Mums cookies never fail
And looked around the room where my new neighbours sat.
Greeeeat
The family sitting in front of me was a perfect family. Literally. Husband, wife, daughter, son.
A nuclear family if I ever did see one and I had to contain my sudden amusement.
"Hi" I exclaimed rather loudly, stuffing the rest of the cookie in my mouth.
"Hello" the father spoke, reaching a hand out to shake mine.
Well, one of my hands had cookies on it and the other was covered in dried jizz so I decided against shaking his hand back.
Instead, I just smiled which probably made him think I was some dumb ass kid who didn't know how to shake someone's hand.
Well I am a dumb ass so he isn't wrong
My mum sat down on the love seat and I squished beside her, causing her to jab her elbow in my side subtly.
"Damnit women" I muttered so only she could hear me, taking a bite out of my 2nd cookie, staring at the awkward family infront of me.
"Were the Johnson's" the father spoke again and I almost choked on my cookie.
Of course you're last name is fucking Johnson.
"Were glad to be living in such a friendly neighbourhood, you see, we just moved to Australia because Chad got transferred here for the car manufacturing company that he works for, were actually from America, Maine to be exact," This time the wife spoke, smiling proudly at her husband.
Of course his name is fucking chad.
"It just seems like such a safe neighbourhood" chad continued.
Well chad, I wonder if you know that the last tenant that lived in your new home was a cocaine dealer that grew weed in the basement.
I mentally laughed as I took in the appearance of them all.
Chad and his wife were both blondes, chads eyes being blue while the wife's eyes were hazel.
Chad looked like the typical soccer dad.
The wife was a milf, if she wasn't wearing an ugly pink blouse and gross khaki capris.
The kids, well the son, he was like a mini chad. Blonde hair, big blue eyes, tall. Looked to be a few years younger than me and he almost reminded me of my stupid friend Luke.
The girl, well there's no denying, she had potential.
She had jet black hair and a cute stubby nose with a stud in it. Her eyes were a blue/hazel mix (if that was even possible) and she looked to be my age.
She wore a white button up and black dress pants. To be honest she was very hot, but she looked snobby.
A female chad
-
Mum conversed with the Johnson's for a few more minutes while I ate the cookies and played on my phone, glancing up at the Johnson's once in a while.
"Who's your son" chad finally asked as I finished my 7th cookie.
"Michael" I replied, reaching for another cookie while my mum jabbed me in the side again with her elbow.
I took that as a sign to withdraw my hand from the plate.
"Well, Michael"
Chad says my name weirdly. Stupid American
"How old are you? You look around 20?"
I let out a loud snort at his comment.
Do you think I would be living with my mum if I was 20?
"I'm 17" I nodded.
"18 soon though" I forced a smile into my face as I stared back at chad.
"Oh so you will be in charlottes grade then!" The wife, who was actually named Leslie (I learned that because that's what chad called her earlier when I was playing temple run and eating my 5th cookie) clapped her hands together with excitement, nudging the girl, presumably charlotte, with her shoulder.
"Oh that's exciting, at least you will have a friend on your first day of school right hunny?" Chad glanced at his daughter and I let out another snort of laughter, covering it up with a cough.
Friend? Right chad, suuuure
"Ya, awesome" Charlotte finally spoke, her voice was low for a girl and it didn't suit her appearance. It was nice though, not annoying and high pitched like what I thought it would be. I could sense the sarcasm on her tone but her parents seemed to accept their daughters 'excitement'.
I pulled out my phone again once the chatter about me died down and noticed a buzz notifying me of a text message.
Wow no one ever texts me
Calum from tha hood: open the front door, I brought fifa.
Michael likes men: my neighbours are over, not now
Calum from tha hood: idc let me in asswipe.
I groaned as I heard the doorbell go off.
Michael likes men: GO AWAY !!
Calum from tha hood: open the door. Are your neighbours hot? Any milfs? Open up.
I heard the doorbell go off again and I let out another sigh.
"I wonder who that could be" mum awkwardly chuckled, interrupting what chad was talking about (some random shit about cars)
"I got it" I groaned, getting up lazily making my way down the short flight of steps to the front door where I could see calum's silhouette.
I could see my mum staring at me along with all the Johnson's.
Well this is awkward
I slowly opened the door, revealing calum standing there, fifa in one hand, cigarette in the other.
He quickly put it out on the bottom of his shoe and pushed passed me into the shoe area. Calum and I were the same height basically but he actually went to the gym while I ate pizza all day so he pushed passed me with ease as I stumbled backwards.
"Nice jorts, fucktard!"
Calum laughed obnoxiously, causing me to punch him in the stomach.
"Ow what the hel--" I quickly covered his mouth with my jizz hand.
"Shut up" I whisper yelled while pointing up the small flight of steps to where my perfect neighbours sat, probably able to hear everything Calum had just said to me.
I pulled my hand off his mouth and dragged him upstairs with me, the Johnson's staring awkwardly at me and calum.
"Michael, you didn't tell me you were having friends over" mum glared at me, a forced smile spreading across her face.
"Hey mrs clifford, hey michaels neighbours" calum waved at the family sitting on my couch, chad didn't look very amused but Leslie and the kids waved back awkwardly.
"Uhm, this is calum. Were going to my room now to play fifa" I muttered softly as calum made his way down the hall to my room.
"We should go too, it was nice meeting you guys, can't wait to get to know you better" Leslie's mouth looked like it was going to break because her smile was so wide and toothy.
"It was great meeting you all, Charlotte I'm sure you'll see Michael at school then" chad was smiling again, putting his hand out to shake my mums hand and then mine.
I shook his hand with my non-jizz/calums mouth germ hand as he looked me in the eyes and smiled.
To be honest, chad scared the fuck outta me. He was too white, too perfect.
The Johnson's stood up and made their way to the door and my eyes hung to charlottes ass.
Okay the girl can do squats I smirked to myself and waved one last time before walking towards my room.
"Oh Michael" I heard charlottes voice call, causing me to take a step back and glance at her while my mum was talking with her parents while they put their shoes on.
"Ya?" I asked, raising my eyebrows slightly.
"Nice jorts" her facial expression was dead serious which confused me, but I guess she definantly heard calums comment. Awkward
"Thanks?" I shook my head and walked off, confused slightly.
Does hot Charlotte actually dig jean shorts or is she just making fun of me
Either way I decided not to think about it any more because it's not like I'll actually interact with my neighbours in the future.
The house beside Ours gets bought and sold like twice every year and the same thing happens. Some family or single guy moves in, decides they don't like the neighbourhood or gets kicked out and then the house goes for sale again.
I give the Johnson's three months.
I quickly washed my hands before entering my room, calum had already made himself comfortable on my bed, scrolling through his ultimate team.
"So, new neighbours a fucking milf and the daughters a babe too. Looks like I'll be hanging out at your house from now on" calum spoke, glancing up from the screen, a prominent smirk on his face.
"Ya right pal" I plopped beside him, grabbing the other controller.
"I give it a month before I fuck the mom" that is classic cal right there. He's got a thing for milfs. All I could think however was how unhappy chad would be if that happened.
----
Kk so this is super random. I always wanted to write a Mikey fanfic and I guess I'm starting it now lmao. The name will orobs change.
Soz I have no idea where this is going..