How she found me

Chapter 1

I was drenched, it was raining really hard outside,I love the rain because it's how I feel deep inside me,cold hurt and completely alone. This was the way I wanted to end my life. No more worries just a little jump and the rope tied around my neck would end my misery. I never knew how much time My dead body would still be here after I'm done but I knew they wouldn't find me anytime soon. I was in an abandoned house or better yet a good looking abandoned old mansion,it was the last place I know people would look for me or better yet the only place they would never search in. I was admiring the view from the top of the stairs railing wondering if I should really do it and what I could miss out when I'm gone,but it didn't matter anymore because I wasn't going to change my mind. So I went through the mansion until I got to where I set everything up the chair,the rope and the only thing missing was me. So I just went to the chair and standed up on it,put the rope around my neck and was getting ready to kick the chair down and end it all. Something seemed to be off with me...I wanted to do this but somehow I just felt like waiting. I don't exactly know why because nobody knew that I was mostly here in my spare time admiring the place and exploring the forest this place haves for a backyard,to be alone...not that it made any difference because I left my friends and started to stay away from them sense my parents died on me and I dumped my girlfriend because she pitied me, I know it sounds harsh but I hated it,the feeling that someone is just feeling sad for your loss when they actually give a fuck, it's very hypocrite of their part,they shed false tears and try to do what they can for the dead couple, but there dead so why bother? It only makes it worse...when you could of seen them when they were alive? You didn't. Ever visited? No. Ever called? No. So really why care know when they're no longer here? You just lost your chance and you cry because of it? It doesn't make sense we visited them,but they were "always busy" we'd called but no one answered. Didn't they get enough chances already?

I just didn't want to be close to anyone,it scared me...how people can be so fuckedup,but anyway let me die and go to we're ever I go when It happens,I'm not sure if it's going to be hell or heaven I actually dought I would go to heaven but who knows maybe I'll see my parents there,or just a last look at them. So why not? I can wait a little longer just to think about those nice dreams and memories I can still remember,even if their not much anyway and I know that you might think I'm a coward for waiting or scared and I will admit it...I am, but I can't do anything about it. I breathe in and look at the large window beside me that lead to the large forest because I couldn't take my eyes off the door, just waiting for someone to barge in at any moment and try to stop me, it was stupid to think someone would and I know that I shouldn't even think that there's hopefully someone that still cares for me or is thinking of me in this moment,would that happen? I really don't know,I really hoped it would and that I would be remembered by someone,anyone...but let's be realistic it's not going to happen.I had that sinking feeling deep inside me but also that little thought of hope,stupid? Maybe...but still can you blame me? "Nobody wants to be forgotten".So finally I was ready to do it...so I closed my eyes and thought one last time of my parents,the friends I left,the girlfriend that I once had, I still loved her,the strange dreams I've had,suddenly those sweet sad eyes appeared in my mind again it has been like this sense my parents died,the eyes of a stranger have been haunting my mind senseless to the point where I just want to never fall asleep or think about them,but it's not because I don't like them,I just dislike the look she gave me...the dream always seemed to be in the same place but it never bothered me,I always found those eyes are all that I thought about,I guess I'll never understand why. I wondered endless nights thinking if it meant something but gave up,when reality hits you it hurts but...do you have to accept it? Some people do,others don't and I just did. I thought that it might be a sign that's telling me "this is not the end " or something but I can't help it I just want to end everything, there's no point in going back anymore I've lost everything I had, but those eyes they always seem to look at me the same way...full of sweetness and light it was just about everything I wanted,but I couldn't have...

-Tell me the reason your doing this?-, a female voice said.

I opened my eyes to see a girl a few feet in front of me looking out the window with ash colored straight long hair and pale skin. She wasn't even bothered by me trying to kill myself, I'm surprised very surprised. She was wearing black skinny jeans , a white shirt,some pair of black vans and a beanie the same color. She looked hot and had a nice way of showing it she was skinny but from here I could see some curves and a nice body,at least she didn't look like a complete bitch. But how did she get here? And why hasn't she said the usual things like " why are you doing up there!!!???" Or "get the hell down from there!!!???" Or " are you crazy you should be in a mental institute!!!???" If she's that type of person or simply why she hasn't even tried to get me down from this chair? I dought that she's that cold hearted and wanted to see me die, but why was she that calm in a situation like this? Anyone else would possibly panic and start screaming a lot of shit.

-Are you deaf or something?-, she said while staring out the window.

-No I'm not-, I answered her, my voice came out weaker than what I expected.

-Then answer me-,her words were cold and sweet yet demanding and I liked how that sounded.

So I did I told her everything and I don't even know why she just gave me that nice feeling like if she cared,even if I knew it was a lie. So after I told her everything because well I'm gonna hang dead here and at least answering my questions is a nice way to get a goodbye from a hot stranger.

-How did you find me? How did you even know I was here in the first place? Why are you even here? Why did you even come here? Who are you?-I asked.

She suddenly looked at me,her stare was...wow. It felt like if she could see right through me straight in to my soul,devouring me,like if she could somehow see my whole life and was just waiting for me to act or something. In normal words she was giving me all her attention,but it felt different the way she did it, I felt myself blush? I felt exited,happy,hopeful and many other things I even smiled because she was looking at me. I hardly smiled to anyone not even a hot stranger but I felt like if she was made for me...strangely It felt like that. She was calm and collected by the way she spoke and her expression was neutral so I don't know if she's pissed at me or not, and even if she is I don't care cause I don't even know her,but if I had the chance I would like to somehow...actually no, I would love to.

-Because I can Shawn-,she said nonchalantly.

- How did you--,she didn't let me finish.

-Know your name? I just do Shawn-, she said smiling at me.

-What the--,I was cut short.

I suddenly tripped I don't even fu*king know how that happened but it did. I was struggling for air, I hated this feeling that I couldn't do anything to stop the pain,that there wasn't anyway to stop this,it hurts, my neck feels like it could snap at any moment.The last thing I saw was her smile before darkness swallowed me up and I couldn't say anything about it because it was all my fault...And there's nothing I can do about it know.

But her smile was comforting in the endless darkness surrounding me and I notice that I didn't even get her name...but she knew mine.