If you were me

Dan's Story

They lay peacefully on the hard wood floor, Phil's face snuggled deep into Dan's chest and Dan on his back, staring up at the ceiling blissfully. They had been in the small, cold attic room for hours, watching as the sunlight from the window slowly faded away. "I can't believe it's only been 2 months, it feels like I've known you forever." Phil whispered, playing with Dan's fingers.

Dan looked down at Phil who was concentrating on their intertwined hands, they spent most evenings and weekends here, it was the only place they could be alone. "I love it here." Phil spoke again. "I feel safe, I used to come here a lot alone, no one but you knows about it. It's like another world, no one comes here, it's like a world without popular or unpopular, without bullying, just me." He smiled at their hands, "and you."

"I get what you mean. I'm really sorry about... you know.. you getting bullied. It killed.. kills me to watch you get hurt like that." Phil nodded. "I'm glad I found you, Phil. I know I told you I pretend so I can fit in but I guess that's not all.." Dan didn't know why he was opening up like this, he'd never told anyone these things before but if he was ever going to talk about it, it should be now, he looked back at the ceiling and carried on, "Well when I was in primary school I was really badly bullied, like.. like you are. I guess I'm not as strong as you though 'cause I then suffered from a really terrible depression.. I felt so so worthless." Dan paused and shook his head at the memories, trying to shake them out of his mind. "One day, I broke down after school, I told my parents everything. They-they said I was too young to have a mental illness, I was only 11 for fucks sake. They said it was a phase, I would get over it and be ok. That's why I pretend to be this twat, I can't be bullied again, and if being a twat is what it takes then I'll do it. I keep thinking, it'll be ok when I get out of here, when I can live alone and do whatever the fuck I want, but this is now and now sucks. That's probably why it hurts so much when I see you getting hurt like that, I know what that's like and I know the consequences, so, remember that I love you, Phil."

Dan continued to stare at the ceiling, entranced by the shining cobwebs that thread through the corners of the room, tears rolling silently down his cheeks. Phil sat up and leant over Dan, slowly kissing the tears away and keeping their hands held close together. Dan's view of the ceiling was blocked by his boyfriend, their eyes connected and Phil pushed back his velvety brown hair and stared at his beautiful boyfriend. "I love you too, always."

sorry this is so late and short, thanks so much for reading. vote/comment and feel free to send me a message any time, love you xx