Disclosure - a Ziall fanfiction

Chapter Three - Brianna

Niall

I was so ashamed.

And embarrassed. Like a little baby, I couldn't stop sobbing. Zayn and Liam had these worried looks on their faces, and I hated being seen like this. It was not like they hadn't seen me cry before; of course they had, but not like this. Not uncontrollably. I shrugged when I remembered they even had to CARRY me inside.

I knew they expected me to say something, so I opened my mouth... only to close it again seconds later. How should I start? My heart was racing, and I could feel the adrenaline, as if it was before a big show. They would probably think I was pathetic, and now I had gotten them worried and everything...

I looked to my left, and into Zayn's golden eyes. I couldn't stand that he saw me like this, all puff-eyed and stuttering. Well, better get this over with.

"I- I... It's....um... It's no-nothing, really..." I could hear how my voice cracked at the end. I looked to my right, where Liam looked at me, encouraging. I swallowed.

"So, okay... I better start from the beginning, yeah? Okay...

So, I never really had a lot of friends at school. Well, of course I had people that I talked to, but not really good friends. And well, I guess I was... bullied. I don't like that word, but I guess that's what I was. Not in the let's-beat-him-up-after-school-kind of way, it was more like, people acted like I was a waste of space. ..."

I was nervous, and it caused my words to stumble.

"Hey Niall," Liam whispered, "it's great that you're telling us, but if you talk a bit slower, maybe we'll catch up on the words as well?"I nodded, and continued where I'd stopped, but trying to calm down this time.

"So, um... if I wanted to join people when they were talking, or playing football, or whatever, they always had an excuse to say no, if you see what I mean?

And, well ... it affected me. And once, when we were visiting my grandparents, I felt like it was enough. I was ten years old - and I didn't wanna live anymore."

I could hear both Zayn and Liam gasping, but now I had finally started talking, and I had no intention on stopping. I kept my eyes on my hands, because I knew that if I looked on either one of them, I wouldn't be able to hold my tears back.

"So I was planning to jump of this cliff, but just before I was gonna do it, this girl screamed. And I turned around, and she was staring at me. And I felt like I couldn't do it in front of her, so... I stepped back. And she saved me."

"We became really good friends. And I got to know her best friend too, a guy. And so, after this, I knew that I always would have friends whenever I visited my grandparents.

So, a couple of years later, the boy died in a car accident. And Brianna, the girl, took it really hard. But we had each other. Brianna had struggled with cancer, ever since she was six years old. She had gotten better by the time we met, and by the time this other guy died, the doctors thought she would be fine."

Now, I couldn't hold my tears back any more. My voice was cracking, my shoulders were shaking, and tears were slowly falling down my cheeks.

I could feel Liam's tight grip around my shoulders, and Zayn was carefully wiping my tears with his fingers.

Still, I didn't dare to look up at them. I needed to keep talking.

"But then, last year, the cancer came back. And now..."

I couldn't speak any more. Even though I tried my best to hold back, my breath became uneven as sobs forced their way through my throat. I hid my face in my hands, and felt how the sobs made my whole upper body shake.