Disclosure - a Ziall fanfiction

Chapter Thirteen - Don't Wanna Break Her

”You can plan for a change in weather and time

          But I never planned for you changing your mind

          So  I’ll go

           Sit on the floor wearing your clothes

            All that I know is I don’t know

             How to be something you miss” 

Zayn

Silence.

Silence for what felt like ages, but what was probably just a few seconds.

Then all hell broke loose.

Perrie looked like a puppy that had just been punched. Her eyes were wide with shock, her mouth was open, and the pile of papers she had been holding just seconds ago, were now spread across the floor.

Her voice flew into fistula as she screamed, “Zayn Javaad Malik, are you cheating on me?”

Niall had frozen completely, so I had to move his arms to get out of the couch.

“Perrie, I’m so sorry, I-“

“Do you think you can just say you’re sorry? I mean, you – I thought – I mean, you’re - - “ Her breath hitched, and her eyes filled with water, as she tried to find the right words to say.

I walked slowly against her, my palms facing her. “I really don’t know how to explain this, love, I - - “

“Don’t you dear calling me that.” Perrie had now shook herself out of the shock, and was finally finding her voice. She started screaming against me, her body shaking.

“I don’t know how many times you’ve told me you love me, Malik. And as stupid as I apparently am, I’ve believed you. I’ve believed every single fucking word you’ve said. And I’ve kept up with fame and paparazzi and madness and death threats from thirteen-year-olds, because you said you loved me. And not only have I just lost what I thought was the most perfect man on earth – “ her breath hitched, “- I will now forever be known as Zayn Malik’s stupid, naïve ex girlfriend. And wow, that’s gonna be awesome. You’re an asshole and an ignorant, lying prick, that’s what you are!”

Every single word she said felt like a strike of lightning against my chest. Not only because she was high-pitching screaming them, also because they were true. Every single word was absolutely true. She had trusted me, and I had cheated on her.

“And do you know what the worst part is? I came here to talk to Niall about your birthday present, because I wanted to show you how much I fucking loved you,” tears were now streaming down her face, and her voice went from screaming to shaking, “- and then I find out that not only does my boyfriend not love me anymore, but he’s cheating on me with a guy. Which means he’s probably never loved me, because he likes guys!”

And before I could say anything, before I could say that I had infact loved her, and that I was probably just as confused by my emotions as she was, she had ran out of the apartment, and was gone.

I turned against Niall, to tell him I had to run after her – but as I looked over at him, he was still frozen, and his eyes were black with anger as he stared at me.

“You told me you had talked to her,” he whispered. “You lied to me. How could you do that? And how the hell could you do this to her?”

I swallowed. What a mess. In the last five minutes, I had managed to hurt the two people on earth that I cared the most about, and now they were both angry and hurt.

“I’m sorry, Niall. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, before grabbing my jacket and running out to find Perrie.

***

Perrie

Stupid, stupid girl. How could you be so fucking STUPID?

As I was running through the streets, my vision blurry and the heels on my shoes hitting the pavement by every single step, I was mentally kicking myself. There had to have been some signs, warning me about this, that I just hadn’t seen – but I couldn’t remember any.

And then, all of a sudden, the sky opened, and the water poured down. And I stood there, soaking wet in my dress, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I pictured myself looking just like any heartbroken girl in any Hollywood movie ever made.

Home. I wanna go home.

I stepped into the street, waved at a taxi, and gave the driver the address to mine and Zayn’s apartment.

***

Zayn

I stopped at the street outside Niall’s apartment, and looked around. Where did she go? Usually when she needed a bit of time by herself, she would find a bridge somewhere. She loved standing there, looking out on the water. But tonight, it was pouring down, and she’d never really liked the rain. What if she’d just gone home?

I stepped into the street and stopped a taxi.

“Hyde park. And wait for me when we get there, because I think you’ll have to drive me home afterwards.”

***

Perrie

As soon as I got home, I locked the door, got out of my soaking wet dress, and found one of Zayn’s shirts in the bedroom drawer.

I didn’t really know why – maybe I wanted to torture myself – but I pulled the shirt over my head, so that I could really feel the smell of my boyfriend, and got my iPod.

I chose “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift, and leaned into the wall in the living room, listening to the lyrics.

The words that you whispered

For just us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

This was too much. Heaving for air, I let myself slide down the wall, until I was sitting on the floor, leaning onto the side of the couch.

A horrible pain cut through my chest, the kind of pain that you hate and sort of like at the same time. Zayn filled my mind; his smile, the way he walked with his beanie and his hands stuck in his pockets, the way he’d rub my back to help me wake up in the morning.

What if he never loved me.

My lungs felt like they’d been taken away from me, and no matter how much I breathed, I couldn’t feel them fill up.

Your name, forever the name on my lips…

And as the song finished, I heard someone knocking at the door.

***

Zayn

I knocked at the door to my own apartment. The door was locked, and I’d forgotten my keys at Niall’s place. I sighed. Everything went wrong today.

“Perrie? Are you there?”

“Leave me alone. Please.”

Her voice sounded so tired, so little. She needed someone to be with her, someone who wasn’t me. I picked up the phone, scrolled through my contacts, and found the number I was looking for.

She answered after three beeps. “hello?”

“Hi, miss Edwards. I think your daughter needs you right now.”

“Is it you, Zayn? Where is she?”

“At home.”

“I’ll be there, give me half an hour.” Then she hung up.

That’s what I loved about the woman who would now never be my mother-in-law; she didn’t ask too many questions.

I stepped out on the street, thinking I deserved to walk home in the rain, when a text message ticked in;

“Where are you? I’m not angry anymore. Get why you did it. Call me? – Niall”