When you were still sane

Aberration

aberration (n) meaning; the act of departing from right, normal, or usual course.

"And hold me in your arms, I want to be buried with you."

Jax PoV

I don't love her.

I'm not even infatuated with her.

I lie to her every night and I think she catches on, even though she giggles like everything is okay.

I can see in her eyes that they are slowly dulling.

Just like Ash's used to do at any mention of her sister.

Danielle went to go visit her and I had the pull to follow her.

But, I didn't.

Sometimes, Daphne disappears too.

And I don't know where.

Nothing is right anymore.

I feel so weak and filthy kissing her lips and doing.. other matters with her.

She is just a distraction.

She plays her little pranks.

Pretends to attempt suicide.

And I think it's an effort to grab my attention.

But, no one can ever grab my attention like Ash could.

Daphne PoV

There is no use to life anymore.

The only thing that kept me here was Danielle.

And Ash.

I even kissed her.

And she kissed back.

It's been going on for months every time I visit her we drag ourselves deeper in the mud and it isn't helping as much as we whispered to another that this was real, that we loved each other.

That we were okay.

Technically I was cheating, but Jax doesn't really care about me, what better to cheat with then his own little crush?

I think she likes me.

So technically you could say I was playing with her emotions too.

I find myself stuck.

I am only digging my grave deeper.

Leading on Ash.

Letting Jax use me like his own personal concubine.

And the most evil of them all is ignoring Danielle.

There is only one solution in my head.

It will make Ash realize she was just confused and lonely.

It will drag Jax back to Ash.

And the only one that had me stumped was Danielle.

I will visit her in my dreams.

That'd the only possible solution I have for her.

                                                  «««•»»»

I find myself on the stool telling Jax how much I actually hate him.

I told him every single detail about my relationship with Ash, just to watch his blood boil.

If I weren't about to kill myself I think he'd do it himself.

I was going to step off too and end it.

But, Danielle ran in with tears.

So, I had to make an act of it, this was just a prank I convinced her.

Laughing and smiling, putting on a show.

I looked into Jax's eyes, and I kick the stool forward.

Ash PoV

*rewind a bit*

We held onto each other so tightly I fooled myself into believing this was right.

I was doing good.

We we're  in love.

But no matter how tightly we held each other, no matter how much I think about how she was my first kiss, I feel so fake and dirty.

"I love you." I lie.

She smiles with sad eyes.

We both know this is all a lie and we are only numbing our pain through mask.

I wish she were Jax.

She sits up on top of me and looks at me.

"We both know this is an aberration." she says.

I shake my head.

I am trying to lie against my own will.

I know she will leave forever if she ends this.

I can't bear to think it's partially my fault.

"I can make this work, please." I beg, gripping her thin hands so tight.

It doesn't feel good though, they aren't his hands.

"Goodbye Ashton." She smiles, leaving me alone.

Just me and my thoughts.

And on that night I am done.

I burn the house down with me inside.