On The Inside

Don't ask me.

Everyone is asking me if I'm okay.

Firstly, does it fucking look like I am okay.

Secondly, I can't answer that right now.

Thirdly, stop worrying that you are the problem.

Truth is, I'm not entirely sure what the problem is.

I am keeping my emotions away from the front of my mind. To let my emotions be felt would be to drive myself crazy.

Stop asking me if I'm okay, I told you, I don't know.

I've locked myself away from everyone other then the ones I love most. The only other inhabitants of my castle are my demons.

They are my best friends.

So don't ask me if I'm okay. I couldn't tell you even if I was. I will work through it though.

I always do.

I'm just feeling a little down, I promise.

I'm not feeling suicidal, to think this would be selfish and unjust to those who give me everything.

But I did look at the creases in my skin from sleeping and I found myself wishing that they were real and bleeding.

I will never actually make that wish come true.

I haven't the effort needed for it.

I'm just feeling a little down, I promise.

But don't ask me if I'm okay.

I don't know.