On The Inside

Not Strong Enough

A/N: I wrote this ages ago but a recent struggle inspired me to extend it.

She's heard it all before.
You don't need a partner for your life to be complete.
You can live without one.

So She does.

She says it's for Her own protection.
She's kept it that way for so long and She feels there's nothing left. Even more so now that She has been cast out of the place She felt She was always supposed to have. She fears that She has forgotten how to love.

But how can She have forgotten when there was never a love in the first place? Of any kind?
How can there be nothing left when there wasn't ever anything to begin with?

She still isolates Herself from it all.
It's lonely, but it's necessary.
It's necessary for Her to keep Her heart locked away in these chains because She would prefer the aching nothingness and crippling loneliness to another heart break.

But there's an energy in her that She sees.
Its there, She knows. But She refuses to believe it. Or even acknowledge it. All She has left is slivers of trust to give. And She can't give those.

For fear they be shattered. She cannot have those few pieces shattered. It is imperative that they remain intact.

She can't tell this girl either. She wants to but She can't. The words stick to the roof of Her mouth and dig their traitorous claws in. She wants to tell her. To be able to trust this girl.

But She's never in her life been good enough for anyone. Her energy is a strong light. Not pure but definitely strong.
She wants to have this but what happens when the girl discovers that She isn't good enough? Damaged and not Herself?
A small voice is telling Her to hold back but She fears She won't be strong enough to stay away. She's not even sure if that's what the girl wants.