On The Inside

Frayed

A/N: So things have happened and I suck.

There's so much wrong and little right.

I held a flower close to my heart.

Whenever it was around, I would brighten up. The flower made me happy. But the flower moved away and too late, I realised that I relied on that flower for so much. 

Now, I worry I'm a being shattered beyond repair. 

I often fall apart and sometimes can't put myself back together.

I vowed to never get so dependant on anyone ever again.

I'm trying to heal, while keeping the frayed, torn, fake smile on my face.

I hate every tear that has escaped. Weakness. I hate the fact that one room and one stupid fucking song can reduce me to a painful, unbearable empty shell.

And then there is you.

At first, it was harmless. 

But now, it's hit me in the face with all the force of a tsunami.

And I vowed to never let myself be dependant on anyone.

I don't think I'd do that but...

I'm afraid I'm shattered and not good enough for you.

You need someone who can support you and give you everything you deserve.

I would try my best but...

the past that shouldn't be holding on is. 

I've lost who I am

I can't understand

Why my heart is so broken

fearing this... thing that we have.

I'm not whole but I will be the best I can for you.

I will try as hard as I can to put myself back together but every time I have to put myself back together, there are more pieces and they get thrown far and wide.

I'm trying to find all those pieces but I'm afraid that there is going to be a time where the pieces have strayed too far...