JANOSKIANS PROMPTS/SICKFICS

Too Much Hate (Jai Centric)

PROMPT: cimfam_forever12

Can you do one where Jai gets a lot of hate and he starts getting insecure and starts cutting himself and then Beau walks in on him doing it?

Too Much Hate

Everyone knows being famous or very well-known comes with positives and negatives, a big negative is hate. Jai knew he was going to get hate and he usually ignored it and put a blind eye to it but sometimes you can only ignore it for so long and Jai began to notice it after the L.A girls music video was posted where they were naked on the streets.

Jai would read through these comments well into the night and he did this night after night. He noticed how much more the hate was directed to him than the other boys.

"Jai's the ugly one" "He's fat, like really fat" "I wish he wasn't in the Janoskians" "Luke's better"

These were the easier ones to read and there were thousands, Jai felt a tear slide down his face as he read through the comments. He suddenly felt Ugly, fat and not good enough. He took it straight to his heart and he felt things he had never felt before. This went on for weeks. During this time Jai stopped going shirtless in front of anyone including his brothers. He always had pants on and even stopped wearing shorts even in the hot California summer swapping them out for Jeans. He began to cry at the slightest things gone wrong and would hide himself away from the boys. "Is this what depression feels like" he asked himself. "Because it hurts" He finished as he looked in the mirror hating what he saw.

Jai had let the hate into his heart.

It wasn't long until late one night; He made the first cut upon his wrist. It was an experiment really but with all his self-hate, it made him feel better and that's when Jai lost himself. He covered his arms, thighs, and stomach in cuts. He stopped going out in public and was left a broken mess on the floor.

Beau had noticed something wasn't right with Jai when he refused to participate in the Ice bath challenge they were filming. He argued with the boys and even fought them when they tried to push him into the pool to get him to do the challenge. As soon as they let go, he threw himself into the house out running the boys to the bathroom where he locked himself in. He fell to the floor and cried. He was too insecure to do a challenge; this was a new low for Jai. He felt worse than ever before.

He knew what he had to do and didn't give it a second thought as he grabbed his blade from the back of his drawer sitting on the floor against the bath; he pulled his sweater off and felt the need to release get more intense.

(TRIGGER WARNING X PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED EASILY X I LOVE YOU STAY STRONG)

He slid the blade along his arm feeling his skin rip open. It was deep. It was very deep. He smiled as he felt the blood run down his arm and drip to the floor. He looked at it feeling almost complete numbing the pain he was in. He continued this on both arms, his skin covered in deep cuts and blood everywhere around him. Suddenly someone was knocking at the door and calling his name.but he couldn't tell who it was. He was too weak. He didn't care. He knew they would go away and leaves him alone, he would clean himself up and it would all repeat in the next few days but this time he was wrong.

Suddenly the door opens and Beau takes in what he sees. Jai felt the guilt wash over him as beau lets a tear fall down his face. Beau quickly wipes it away and runs over to Jai. He grabs his blade and throws it across the room. "NO" jai yelled as he scrambled to get the fallen blade but Beau grabs him and holds him in his arms rocking back and forth as Jai breaks down in his arms. Beau whispers things like, It's ok and you're okay I've got you into Jai's ear. Jai begins to calm down a bit clinging to his older brother. Beau picks jai up and carries him to his room; he sets Jai down on Beau's bed and takes a hold of his arms. Beau kisses Jai's cuts not missing a single one before he gently wraps them up in bandages. He lies next to Jai on the bed and takes his hand rubbing small circles as jai falls asleep. "Never again jai" he says holding his hand tighter.

Beau never let jai cut himself again as he did all he could to get Jai to recovery. Although sometimes some things are said and it can never go back to the way it was. Jai recovered from self-harm but still has lots of scars littering his arms, legs and stomach although jai never went without a shirt or shorts again, he is still very insecure and probably always will be but the boys have been very supportive and Jai is getting better.

He never let the hate into his heart again.

If you're a self-harmer or go through depression or anxiety or anything like that, just know I'm here for you and always will be. I have gone through it and still kind of am so this story hit close to home and remember your very strong for going through this and remember its NEVER your fault. X

I just want to say something really quick this story shows how something like a simple hate comment could change someone's life for the worse. Your words can be like bullets right through something, you could break them like the hate did to Jai in this. So next time you hate, remember it could hurt someone. Xx

i tried to make it longer for you all x

Thanks for reading, erin xx

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