Safe

Truth

She holds me for a bit longer. Then I let go. I take a breathe. I have to finish the story no matter how painful it was. I look at her.

"Well, he started touching me and stuff. "

The tears begin to flow into my eyes blurring my vision. I wipe them away. I have to do this.

"He he," my voice cracks, "He raped me."

I just cry more and more. I have never said the words before. Somehow the simple act of saying them hurts me. I knew it happened. I knew what he did. Somehow... Someway I did not think it was real. It was just a bad nightmare, a tale , a story not reality. But it is. IT is reality. I was raped by own drunken father. Knowing it's real makes it hurt.

"It's okay. He won't ever do it again ever. I promise, " She tells me.

Amelia holds me in her arms. I cry and cry and cry. Amelia reminds me so much of my mother. My mom always loved and cared for me. Before she died. I was loved. I was protected. I was innocent. Now, I feel like a piece of crap. I feel ugly and stupid just like my dad said I am. But no!!! I am safe.

She squeezes my shoulders and says, "You are one of the bravest little girls. I have ever had the honor to meet."

"Thanks, but I feel like crap. My dad always told me I was worthless, and he would kill me."

I squeeze my eyes stifling the tears.

"It is okay. You are safe. I promise."

Then I just scream. I scream for all the times I couldn't. I scream for all the times he hit me. All the times I felt like crying but couldn't. I scream and scream until my voice is hoarse. Then I scream more

A whole host of emotions that I have never been aloud to feel overwhelm me. I can be angry, and cry, and scream. Before, I couldn't. Now, I can.

"Just let it out," Amelia responds.

I do. I let all of the held in emotions out. I let them flow out of me like a waterfall. I let them bubble and burst. I don't have to not cry, because I might get hit. I don't have whimper quietly to myself, because I might wake my sister or worst yet him. No!!!! I can breathe. I can let alll of it OUT!! I feel a new sense of something. I guess it is knowing. The knowing I can. I can let it all out. I can feel again, and that is the truth.