Chapter 14

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"C'mon.." I mumbled, trying to shove open my front door. Our place was too crappy to afford proper hinges, so my daily work out was trying to get into my house

"Pleeeaaassseee it's coooold," I begged my door. I gave one more heave to the wooden bother , and it flung open, sending me flying and crashing onto the floor.

I landed on my shoulder, rolling into my back. My eyebrows furrowed as I felt something pointy poking my back. I reached behind my back and pulled out..

A stiletto heel?

It was a deep red with a perky bow, and the heel was at most 4 inches. 

That was odd, my mom was usually picky about clean rooms and shoes tucked away.  Why would her heel be on the floor?

"Mom?" I called out, flipping my hair and standing.

I peeked at the clock.

9:00 pm.

  My mom shouldn't even be home, she should be at work.  

"Mom?" I called louder.

I heard a loud thump come from her bedroom, and my eyes widened. What was going on?

"Mom, are you okay?" I called out.

Her door creaked open and she walked out.

I gasped.

Her eyes were blood shot, her hair a mess and her clothes rumpled. She stumbled towards me and giggled when she hit the wall.

"WheN was that there?" she giggled.

"Mom?" I whispered, getting scared.

She smiled and walked up to me, stroking my face. An awful stench rolled from her mouth. My body stiffened and I stepped back.

Why did she-?

No.

Oh, no, no, no.

She was drunk.

"Mom, what are you doing?" I whispered, the pain evident in my voice.

She frowned and wagged her finger at me, before finding the motion of the finger hilarious, and wagging it back and forth in front of her.

No, no.

I ran to my room, but tripped. My jaw hit the wooden floor and I let out a groan, but my mom didn't say a thing. I peeked behind me and saw a empty beer bottle by my feet.

Tears of pain boiled in my eyes, and I pulled myself up and ran to my room.

I slammed the door shut, and slid down it, letting my tears run freely. 

The smell of alcohol was already sparking memories in my brain.

Awful memories.

Father.

Beer.

Bruises.

"No, stop, don't do this, forget about everything," I whispered into my knees, holding my head. But I couldn't stop them from coming.

The memories. 

The memories came flooding in and I let out a muffled scream, drowning in the past.

"Maya, come out, come out wherever you are," he sang, his voice coming closer.

6 year old Maya pulled her legs closer to her chest, hiding deeper into the closet.

She didn't want her dad to find her.

Because if he did...

She bit her lip.

"MAYA!" His drunken voice barked, the fun and games gone.

She squeezed her eyes shut, a lone tear squeezing its way out, and the footsteps stopped.

Maya opened her eyes, then let out a tiny breathless laugh.

He stopped looking, she was safe today!

That's when the closet door flung open and there he was, ripped clothes, unfixed eyes, red eyes.

She screamed, a horrible, heart-wrenching scream that no 6 year old should ever let loose.

He picked her up by her wavy blonde hair and she shrieked, tears now poring down her face.

"I TOLD YOU TO COME OUT!" he screamed, throwing her onto the wooden floor. He kicked her leg, and she moaned, quickly standing up.

"G-go away," she whispered.

"Oh, no sweetie, I'm never going away," he grinned, and swung his hand across her face.

She screamed out, falling to the ground, but picking herself up again. 

"STOP!" she screamed, wanting her mommy to come home.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" he roared, shoving her back down, her head crashing onto an empty beer bottle, the glass probing her skin, making her vision slightly darken.

She saw his figure lumbering over her, and she found a bit of hope.

"Please daddy, don't," she begged, her voice not even above a whisper.

He threw his head back and laughed, before swinging back his leg, it landing on a spot right below her ribs, where a permanent bruise would bloom.

The contact ran through her body.

The pain unbearable.

Her nerves on fire.

Then...

It all went black.

"AAAAGGGGHHHH!" Maya screamed, sitting bolt upright, panting heavily.

She whipped her head around, sweat pouring down her face.

She took a deep breath, then burst into tears.

It wasn't fair.

She was trying so hard to hold herself together, she stopped cutting, started believing, but it wasn't working. 

She pulled herself up to her window, the New York lights greeting her.

She let out a sob, letting the wind soothe her, it's tranquil breeze running along her face. She trained her eyes on the lights, watching them, letting their familiar gleam calm her down.

She was broken.

Abused.

Damaged.

Wrecked.

Ruined.

Unfixable.

But she had to stay strong, for Riley, for Farkle, for Lucas.

Was she okay?

She didn't know for sure, but she still said the answer written on her heart, her very shield.

"I'm always okay."


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