Aries: I swear to god if that stupid alarm clock keeps waking me up...rude
Taurus: *puts on lipstick* *eats PopTart*
Gemini: *pulls mirror out of bedroom to put in front of mirror to take selfie*
Cancer: pinch me and I punch you
Leo: the worst part about knocking over your trash can is seeing how many candy wrappers were in it
Virgo: oh my god autocorrect stop trying to make ducking happen
Libra: ONE FINGER DOES NOT COUNT AS HANDS ON THE WHEEL WHILE DRIVING NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FLICKA DA WRIST WHILE DRIVING NO-
Scorpio: so when is senior ditch day bc I'm ready for that to happen (it's September and you're a sophomore)
Sagittarius: spiders creep me out too, Professor Utonium
Capricorn: just saw a Pepe in the clouds. the rarest of all and only I have witnessed.
Aquarius: okay but the aurora borealis isn't all that cool like yOU ARENT THE ONLY LIGHTS IN THE SKY OKAY
Pisces: so I have, like, eel sauce in my nose
