My Beautiful

Chapter 9

It's been a long time. Sorry. Had other stories I needed to finish.

However, I'm back and I plan to update once a week. Let's hope this plan holds up. =)

Here you go. Enjoy!

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I stared at the ceiling like I could find the answer to my problem somewhere in the whiteness that stared back at me. My head was heavy from lack of sleep, and my eyes were definitely blotchy from all the crying that I did. I rubbed my fingers on my now dried eyes, knowing the headache that had been bothering me the moment I left Xian's condominium building was like a ton of rocks weighing down on my head.

I turned to my side, hugging the soft pillow I already had in my arms tightly. The clock on the bedside table read 6:15 a.m. It was still too early to get up, and even if it wasn't ... I was not in the mood to do anything but to ponder on what the hell happened yesterday. So I stayed where I lay, feeling numb after the rollercoaster of emotions I had to go through the moment Xian said no.

I cried - no, basically bawled my eyes out when I arrived at my condominium - because I was angry with myself. It wasn't his fault he couldn't help me with my problem with PAY. I shouldn't have gone to him, but my naivety made me believe his offer of help that afternoon we had coffee weeks ago included marriage.

No, it didn't. And I was so stupid to think otherwise. Argghh!!!

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I felt betrayed, and he didn't even do anything to warrant this feeling of betrayal.

I'm so stupid. He couldn't marry me before when I thought he loved me so what made me think he could do it now?

Assuming kasi. Ayan ang napala mo, Kim

I palmed my face; angry with myself for all the delusions I had these past few days. Pushing away thoughts of Xian and what happened yesterday was hard, but I willed myself to do so in order for me to calm down.

I need to be okay. I need to.

I just needed some kind of plan.

But thinking about plans for PAY just got me frustrated all over again.

I turned around the bed to find a more comfortable position, hoping sleep would finally come so I could have some temporary reprieve from all my problems.

Perhaps it was finally time to accept that I couldn't save PAY.

===OOO===

Sleep didn't come so I stayed in bed for another hour or so, realizing that I might just have to let our company go. Rather than go crazy thinking about Xian and his refusal to help, I decided staying in bed was not the option. I needed to get up and take back the control of my day and will it to be good. There were a lot more things to look forward to. Just because I couldn't think of anything particularly good at the moment, didn't mean it wasn't there.

I got ready for the day. The cold bath I had seemed to lighten my mood, and made me decide it was high time to have some "me time". A little shopping would probably improve my mood more.

Just as I was putting the last touches of make-up, the doorbell rang.

It was a little over ten in the morning, but it wasn't unusual for me to have visitors this early. Having crazy friends like Karen - who would pop in anytime of the day - did that to you. And with that said I expected it to be her.