My Beautiful

Chapter 6

I could feel the throbbing in my head as I stared at my father … stunned and furious … unbelieving of what I heard.

“Tell me it’s a joke,” I muttered, my voice strained as I tried to rein in my anger.

“Xian, anak –“ my mother started, but I interrupted her.

“Tell me!” I could feel the pounding in my head increase … the thud thud was all I heard, but I pushed it away  … set aside the conflicting emotions raging inside me and focused on my father.

“No, it’s not a joke. Kinausap ko talaga si Celine.”

I lost my internal battle to keep my temper in check.

“Bakit mo ginawa yun?!”

I was shouting but I didn’t find it in me to care. He didn’t have the right to go behind my back. He went to talk to Mrs. Chiu to ask her Kim’s hand in marriage in exchange for his helping their company. I didn’t understand what possessed him to call and make such a ridiculous offer. I wouldn’t even dare mention the word marriage around Kim after all that happened between us … definitely not now that I hadn’t made things right between us yet.  

“Hindi mo man lang ako tinanong, Dad?”

“I didn’t have to.” He turned away from me, replenishing the scotch in his hand. “Alam ko ang ginagawa ko.” His voice was tight … hard.

“Alam mo? ALAM MO?!” I asked, almost hysterical. “My God, Dad … I can’t even begin to understand why you did that!”

“I have my reasons,” was all he said before he drowned his scotch in one gulp.

“Then by all means tell me these reasons!” I demanded, running my hand through my hair in agitation. “Kasi ang hindi ko maintindihan … now that I’m trying to get my life back … here you come at pinapakialaman mo naman ako.”

“Xian, that’s enough!” I heard my mother say, but I was too angry at what my father did to even listen to her anymore.

“Hindi pa ba sapat sa iyo ang nagyari before?”

“I never did anything except try to guide you. Kasalanan ko ba if you cave under pressure? It was your decision to give her up … not mine!”

“Was it? Are you really sure you gave me that option, ha?”

The muscles of his jaw clenched, but he stayed quiet, clearly debating with himself whether to answer the damn question or to remain silent. That pissed me off more – his cavalier attitude … his arrogance.

“You’re fucking ruining my life again!”

His head snapped like a lightning bolt, his eyes furious as he glared. “You don’t get to talk to me like that. I’m your father!”

“Then act like it!” I shouted back, my nostrils flaring as I engaged in a glaring contest with him. “Hindi naman ikaw ang apekatado eh … AKO!” I was panting, and it took all my restraint not to go punch him.  “Hindi mo alam how hard it would be –“

“The two of you, stop it!” my mother snapped, getting between the two of us.

We both ignored her.

“Don’t you tell me how hard it is … because I know! I know, godammit!” he retorted. “Tinutulungan lang kta.”

“Tulong?! Cge nga, sabihin mo how bribery would help me?” By this point, I was beyond control and anything he would say would be retaliated with anger and frustration.