Destined Fur More

Feel Free to Punch Author In Kidney

By the time Teague got out of the bathroom--because apparently all attractive people feel the need to take seven hours, I had regained full control of my lung capacity and was sitting on the sofa with the usual scowl.

"Sorry about that, dearest Fish," Teague announced, though his complete mispronounciation really kind of contradicted the apology. "I really did need to pee that bad, otherwise I'd have been a gentleman."

I snorted, narrowing my eyes. "Apparently kicking someone in the stomach and then stepping over them is a great start."

He shrugged. "It's all about priorities, Fish."

Holding in my sneer, I said, "Of course it is, T-Bag."

Teague sniffed delicately as his eye twitched, "We both have terrible names, Fish Stick."

"Agreed, Teapot."

He crack a grin, though I'm not quite sure why. "Maybe it's meant to be."

I let a laugh bleat unattractively out of my mouth, "Definitely fate."

Teague's head tilted to one side, probably in a rare moment of actual thought. There was a pause as he asked, "Fisher, have you ever had a boyfriend?"

My face contorted in disgust. "Who needs boys when you have janitorial staff?"

There was a moment of pure confusion before he shrugged it off, "Was that a 'yes' or a 'no'?"

Giving him a tight look, I answered, "It was a 'no'."

Teapot's eyebrows rose in surprise and after a moment of hesitation, he asked, "Have you ever been kissed?"

Honestly, how could anyone keep a straight face when that question was asked from someone like him to someone like me? My face lifted as a burst into buoyant laughter, stoic face gone. "W-what?" I guffawed in skeptical laughter, "What d-did you just ask?" I giggled, shaking my head.

From what I could see through my blurred eyes, he was pretty—no, extremely annoyed. "Have you ever been kissed?" HE repeated, but much more sharp.

The laughs were dying as I wiped a good joyful tear from my eye. "N-no, I-I haven't…" I said, smiling.

"You mean you've never been kissed?" He exclaimed, honestly surprised. Teague's chocolate eyes were skeptical, despite the fact that I'd just answered his question.

Giving him a sardonic look, I said, "I'm SORRY, is that SHOCKING to you?"

His eyebrows knit together, "Well, I mean… You're, like, eighteen…"

My own brows rose, "So…? Is there some law that says I must be kissed by the time I'm eighteen? I'm pretty sure it goes against the whole 'cruel and unusual' punishment thing." I'd meant for this to be the dismissive statement, but no, he had to press.

Teague's nose wrinkled in thought, "Why would you say that?"

My face went stoic as I answered flatly, "Look at me, T-Bag."

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, and..?"

Raising my eyebrow expectantly, I said, "Have you seen me? Given me a glance? Noticed my face? My complete and utter un-atrractiveness?"

At this, he grinned, "You're not ugly, Fisher. Everyone goes through stages." Teague shrugged as I swallowed my venemous reply of pointing out how he'd probably never gone through an "ugly stage" and how this "stage" had been lasting my entire life. But he continued before I could open my mouth, "And actually, I really have seen you. You're pretty fucking awesome." After a second of thought, he added, "Well, when you're not off muttering in some pessimistic corner."