Sociophobia (Boyxboy)

Part 7

"Huh....? You're kinda happy," Roxy commented as she joined me for dinner. "Happy and early. I expected you to be napping again."

I looked up. "I'm fine....actually," I said in the best cool and convincing manner I could muster now. All that's been in my head even after school was Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff. I may have even taken a liking for him. At that thought, I choked on my food.

"You're......weird....." Roxy raised an eyebrow as mom patted my back. I was in a coughing fit now, no thanks to Jeff.

"But Roxy is right you know. Ever since you came back, it's kind of like.....you're smiling," mom teased.

"No I wasn't!" I said defiantly. Some part of me knew that that was true. But more than happy, it's more like I'm still embarrassed. At the school gate, we waved goodbye to each other. I was going home while he had to stay back for football practice. He smiled and waved and did the head scratching thing which he does quite often in front of me.....I think? We both looked away again before I said goodbye to him.

Mom and Roxy continued to tease me and that I probably had a crush or something. I think at that point, my face was already red and I excused myself from the dinner table. I didn't finish my food as usual so I promised mom that I'll eat my leftovers for breakfast tomorrow. Mom was extra lenient today and as I went upstairs, I could here them both giggling and talking about my so called 'crush' and how his or her personality might be. I think they're making a bet whether or not said person is a guy or a girl. Well, too bad. I don't have a crush.

I mean.....any other person who'd been treated this way must have liked Jeff too right? He's really nice (and dashing too). I'm just really enjoying the treatment I'm getting from him. This is after all, the second time I've made a friend. Yep, we're friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't know why, but I can't seem to sit with that idea. 'Nothing more, nothing less.' It sounds so cold.

"Aaaargh!!" I ruffled my hair and covered my body head to toe with my blanket. This is annoying! Jeff was.... ..I don't want to be 'less' but 'more' means I want to be in a relationship right? Do I want to be in a relationship? I sat up. DID I REALLY JUST CONSIDER JEFF AS A POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND?!

And that was the last thing I remembered.

Next morning, Roxy was sulking because mom refused to let her go the mall all by herself. This was an 'emergency' and she needed to go buy some important things. She wouldn't tell me nor would she tell mom what her 'important' things are. Mom couldn't take her out since she was busy. Dad hadn't been home since yesterday and Roxy's only 10. Clearly, a girl her age shouldn't be walking alone in a mall. According to mom, there were thugs out there who could harass her and kidnap her in one fell swoop. I don't know who would kidnap Roxy though, because that person sure made one of the worst mistakes in his life. Dad often describes her as a kitten with a very nasty bite. If you live with us, you might just see why.

Anyways, I decided to go with her on the condition we come home within an hour. Mom asked me if I would be fine going out and I said yes. She knew I absolutely hated public places but if I was all good with it then she couldn't say no. Mom decided it would be a win-win situation since Roxy could get whatever that she needed and I got' exposure therapy' in a way. I didn't expect her to be so pleased with the idea of me going with Roxy that she volunteered to drive us there. Roxy was all smiles while I was just poker-faced throughout the car-ride. Oh WHAT HAVE I DONE?

The mall had WAY MORE PEOPLE THAN I EXPECTED. I should have known better than to come on a Saturday. And I think there's a sale going on.....

I made sure (and double checked) I was holding Roxy's hand when we entered. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost her. She can handle her own but me? With all these people..... so much noise and movement. It makes me dizzy. I began to get paranoid that I, at any moment, would find myself holding a stranger's hand and that was terrifying enough to even think off.