Dire Lust 2 [Book 2]

Twelve

August

Two weeks after Zahir was buried, I finally went by to see my moms.

I still hadn't visited Zahir. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Subconsciously I felt like I would have to face Teyanna and explain why I had, once again, let her down.

But I was ready to face my mother. I had to. She was pissed that I didn't have any services for her grand baby.

It broke my heart when she looked at me with disgust after opening the front door of her home. She had a lot of nerve.

She couldn't afford the door that she barely wanted to open for me.

I was in this shit because I'd put myself in harm's way just to keep a roof over my head.

She was also to blame for Teyanna's death, and she ain't even know it. No, she didn't pull the trigger and she didn't make me start selling. But she she put me under the pressure that I felt to make the money that got Teyanna killed.

I shook off the thought as I walked into her house.

"Your sister had been trying to call you." She talked to me like she could barely stand it, like she hated that she had to.

"No she hasn't. She on some bullshit anyway."

"What do you mean by that?"

My mom knew I was in the drug game. I had no desire to hide it from her.

"Told Andre about my business. Kayjah heard the nigga talking about me while we were over there. She talks too much. I can't have that type of shit."

"Hmph," was her response.

When I looked up at her, she was obviously sad.

"I can't believe you didn't let me say goodbye to my grandbaby."

"Mama, ion wan talk about it."

"Well, I do!"

"But, I don't, mama!"

She smacked her lips and blew her breath in disapproval and shifted her weight away from me.

"You act like you're the only one going through this. Teyanna wasn't my girlfriend, but she was like a daughter to me and it hurt me too-"

"Mama, I do not-"

"Listen to me, Damn it!" Her body shook as her voice escalated.

I laid my hand on her knee. "Calm down, mama."

"No! You need to calm down. You need to calm down, son."

I seen that she was upset.I saw that she was so angry, her nerves caused her to tremble.

"You ain't the only one dealing with death. You forget that I'm your mother. So, I feel your pain too. Teyanna was like a daughter to me, August. Don't forget. I was the last person she talked to that day. She went outside because of me-"

The memory was so painful. I hurriedly wrapped my arms around her and rocked her gently as soft wails escaped her mouth.

"It's okay, mama."

"I sent her outside."

"I didn't answer the phone," I said through my own tears.

"Stop shutting me out, baby. Stop being so hard. I wanted to say goodbye to the only living memory of Teyanna. That was my first grandbaby. You took that from me."

"I'm sorry, mama." My voice cracked as my heart did as well.

"I didn't say goodbye either. We can say goodbye together, okay?"