Falling slowly

Suprise, Suprise

I open the door and I see Jesse wearing a tuxedo. "Let's just get this over with" I say

"Alright" he says

"Yup" this is getting awkward

"So, did you miss me. Or did the Monster fill in that hole for you" he says

"Oh please I chose it"

"Sure you did. Look I still love you"

"Then why did you cheat on me"

"I didn't I swear. She just kissed me"

"Oh really because the way I saw it you were kissing her"

"OK fine it was partly my fault but I miss you. Do you think you can give me another shot?"

"Fine, but if you screw up like the last time, I'll kill you" I say with a laugh.

"I missed you" he says taking my hand and holding it.

"Me too" I say kissing him. He looks surprised but he shakes it off." So where's this party?"

"In Pennsylvania"

"Oh ok" I say. We get into his car and he starts to drive.

"So how have you been these past months?"

"Great" I say lying. He has no idea I cut or cry myself to sleep or worst of all, am a suicidal person.

"Oh.(he stops the car) cause the way I see it you've got bags under your eyes which means you've been sleeping with the monster. Don't think I'm stupid but I know now that your wrists are like barcodes. You're eyes look red and I know its not from the Monster because you put drops into your eyes before you get involved with the Monster. It looks like you cry yourself to sleep and have many attempts of suicide. I'm going to be honest with you, this past week I've been spying on you making sure you're ok. And the times I've been sneaking in you house you have bottles of water on the floor a entire box of pills. Beer in your mini fridge. A knife, a gun and a noose."

"How-" is all I manage to say I stare straight deep into his eyes. I've never seen anyone care so much about me.

"Like I said. I love you and only you. Just let me love you. I won't hurt you, promise" he says

"Ok" I say and we kiss and that's was all. For the rest of the ride he held my hand and didn't let go. After a while he turned a corner and there we were. About to enter. We went in and it smelled of tobacco. There were red cups all over the floor and people making out in the couch. I couldn't help but stare at them kissing one another. I mean can't they do that somewhere private? It first started out with one drink then  more and more I couldn't even remember the last thing I did. All I know was I wasn't ready for whatever was coming to me. I pulled Jesse up the stairs and opened up a room. Luckily it wasn't occupied. The last thing I remember was me and Jesse in the bedroom making out then tearing one another's clothes off. I know its weird but in the moment it felt so wrong but yet so right. Let's just say we stayed the night and we did it. Me and Jesse we both did it. Although I never thought I'd lose my virginity at sixteen but Jesse was 19. And apparently lost his virginity at sixteen too. We woke up beside each other embarrassed. I got back into my dress and he got dressed in the room. He drove me back home and when I got in no one was home, like always. But yesterday night was different from the rest it made everything feel so much better.