Unforgiven Mistakes

Scuffed Shoes

Warnings/Triggers – low key swearing, abuse/abandonment

(Phil's POV)

"Hey Phil, wait!" I heard Dan yell.

I turned around, ready for the brat to try and correct me or argue with my previous comment. The kid couldn't take a joke could he?

I wasn't expecting when he said,

"Well Phil, why don't we just go to your house now?"

I shrugged and brushed it off, hoping he'd leave it alone.

I knew damn well that he couldn't come over to my house, I was just saying he could to piss him off. If he knew what went on in my house, he wouldn't talk to me ever again.

He stood there, sassily sticking his hip out and tapping his foot.

"Well?" he repeated himself.

"No, Dan, No. We cannot go to my house because I don't want you there" I spat, seeing the hurt fill his eyes and tears start to form.

"B-but" Dan tried to reply.

"Dan, honestly, I don't care what you're going to say. I have to go."

And with that, I turned on my heel, leaving him standing there shocked and hurt.

I sighed and put my earphones in, blasting Muse into my system. I looked down, scuffing my shoes along the pavement.

I tried to avoid going home, but eventually there was nowhere left to go, and I had to return home before I got in trouble.

I opened the door quietly and tried to run up the stairs to my room.

"Where do you think you are going, Philip?" a menacing voice echoed from the couch.

"Get me another beer boy" he yelled, making fists.

I hurried to get a beer, I didn't want my dad to be angry at me. I wanted him to love me.

I passed him the beer hoping he'd ask me to stay. A simple 'Hey son' or 'How was your day?" would be enough.

"Well, off to your room then. Do your homework." He rolled his eyes, focusing back on the TV screen.

I stumbled up the stairs, shaking with anger. I hated him. I wish mum would come back and take me with her.

I was sitting at my desk, head in my hands when my phone started vibrating.

I squinted at the screen as it lit up with Chris' name.

"Hey mate, where are you? I'm at the bar with the ladies, they're asking for you"

Oh god, I had completely forgotten about seeing Chris tonight.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry. I'm already home, I can't go out tonight" I explained, hoping he'd just say okay.

No such luck.

"Ah no probs. I'll pick you up in ten, yeah?" he questioned.

I had to think quickly, there was no way I could get out of the house without my dad noticing.

"No can do, I have a...project, yeah project with Howell that we have to finish soon." I rambled slightly.

"Since when have you cared about school?" Chris laughed, thinking I was joking.

"I don't, but uh Howell does and said he'd kill me if I didn't" I made a face at my own reasoning. Who would even be scared of Howell if he said that anyway?

"Alright, more for me I guess? See you tomorrow, man" he finalised with a chuckle.

"Yeah, see you" I hung up the phone call, letting out a breath in relief.

I sat, doodling at my desk until it was time to go down and make dinner.

"Oi Philip, get your ass down here right now" I heard dad yell

I glanced at the clock. It was only 5.30, I didn't usually start dinner until 6.30.

This better be good.

I clomped down the stairs, hoping he'd say that we could go out for dinner, or something exciting.

"Isn't it time you started dinner?"

"No dad, we still have another hour" I sighed, beginning to climb the stairs again.

"You'll bloody well make it when I tell you to. Who pays for your education?" he roared, slamming his hand down on the coffee table.

I muttered under my breath, deciding something easy and quick would be a good choice for tonight.

I started preparing pasta when the doorbell rang. I put the knife down and prayed it wasn't Chris, the bloody idiot.

I opened the door to see Dan standing on the porch.

"Hi Phil. I know you said not to come but I came –"

I closed the door in his face.

"Who was it, Philip?" dad looked angry that I had disturbed him from his TV show.

"Oh no-one dad, just a salesman" I lied, hoping Dan would go away.

He didn't.

He kept knocking, until dad got up in pure rage to yell at the 'salesman'.

I flinched as he swung the door open.

"Look Phil –" I heard Dan start, before he realised I wasn't there.

"Oh hello sir, my name is Dan Howell. I go to school with Phil, it's lovely to meet you." Dan stuck his hand out to shake my father's.

My father stood there laughing as Dan slowly lowered his hand.

"Dan, is it?" my father snorted, his belly jiggling.

"Um, yes sir" Dan nodded politely.

"Dan, never come back to this house ever again, and if you do I will call the police."

My father closed the door in his face.

He turned to me, his beady eyes filled with hatred.

"How dare you tell this person where we live?" he hissed, advancing towards me.

"I didn't dad, I swear. He must have followed me" I promised, shrinking back into the shadows.

"Who would want to follow you, Philip? No-one" dad bellowed and raised his fist.

Soon everything became flying punches and sharp kicks. I felt pain everywhere: my nose, sides, head and right arm.

I held on to the cupboard, I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I looked up, something shiny catching my eye.

I met a pair of brown eyes, watching in horror as I slowly slid down the fridge.

Then everything went black.