Joel had been kept in the hospital for almost five months now. Lizzie didn't feel like eating. She tried to hang herself once but her friends and family did all they could to stop her.
She had been cutting herself in hopes to hit a vein and die. She knew she couldn't handle it without Joel being by her side. Joel made her feel happy, and she felt comfortable with Joel by her side.
However, Joel made her feel suicidal. She assumed Joel had left her alone with Buddy and cheated on her. "Without the love of my life, what's the point of it?" Lizzie said, knife in hand, crying.
She looked in the mirror and wiped her tears. Everything turned dark. Only her and the mirror. She began crying tears of blood. Buddy turned into a black cloud (read previous chapters).
Then she woke up. She was on a mental hospital bed, arms filled with cuts everywhere. Cheeks stained with blood. She became skinnier, weighing 58 pounds.
After Joel was sent to the hospital, she felt like she had no goal in life. She began cutting. She constantly asked people to beat her up. Bruises and cuts on her face. She cried, burning the cuts and making them bleed.
She only ate a small slice of bread each day, and sometimes even nothing.
"Doctor, help!" Lizzie shouted, ringing a bell. The doctor came in and gave Lizzie some duotine pills.
Duotine pills give Lizzie the urge to sleep, giving nightmares and hallucinations.
"No, doctor, I don't need duotine just yet," Lizzie said.
"Then what do you need, Ms. Dwyer?" Dr. Barnes asked.
"Doc," Lizzie said weakly.
"Yes?" he responded anxiously.
"Pass me the razor," Lizzie said.
"No, you can't cut again," the doctor said angrily.
"No, I'm not cutting myself," Lizzie said.
"What do you need the razor for then?" Dr. Barnes ased.
"I'm killing myself."
