headmaster styles.

Recovery

Real scars hide your real smiles.

February 11, 2012

A Swimming Pool

I woke up early this morning. Not because I wanted to go downstairs, and not because I wanted more ice cream. But because I couldn't go back to sleep. Nothing could make me forget about this. I couldn't live with him without crying or breaking down because of what he did.

"Anastasia? Are you awake?" The voice that appeared by my bedroom door made me jerk my head up to look. And once I made eye contact with him, I widened my eyes and scooted up to the top of my bed, afraid.

"No. I'm sorry." He walked into the room and I scooted up farther until my back hit the headboard.

"I don't want to go downstairs. I don't want to talk to you." I said, tears forming in my eyes. I can't even bare to look at you.

"Ana.." Ana?

"What I did was shitty. I was drunk, and I was tired. I had to take my anger out on something."

"You mean someone?" I rolled my eyes and I saw him tense up, because I rolled my eyes. So for protection, I grabbed my pillow beside me and held it over my body.

"I think that the alcohol was really speaking to me last night. I-I shouldn't have touched you. I would have never touched you if I were sober." Offense taken.

"Touching a woman like that.... It's horrid, and I should be punished for what I did. And..." He trailed.

"I guess you wouldn't want to join me down by the pool, would you?"

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. He was wringing his fingers and all of a sudden he stood up and I jumped back.

"I hope you have the decency to forgive me after my childish actions. But I will be down by the pool in less than ten minutes. If you come, I would be happy with your presence. If you don't come, then it wouldn't bother me a bit." He then walked out of my room and slammed my door shut.

Did I just witness a small child in that big, manly body?

But... I want more of that child. I want to be able to cherish that small child in his brave body. I want to... Not be afraid of him.

But it's his fault that I'm scared of him. And it will always be his fault. His actions lead to my fear, and I can't help that.

I took a deep breath and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It said "5:19". It's already five o'clock in the afternoon? Hell. And it's already been nine minutes since he's left.

I stepped off my bed and walked to my closet. I pulled out my baby blue bikini and black slip. Once I had my bikini on, I tugged the slip over my body and went downstairs.

I was afraid to go outside, because what if he really doesn't want me out there? He wouldn't have invited you then. I rolled my eyes at my idiocy.

Once I reached the patio door, I looked outside and at the pool. Harry was standing there in his black swimming trunks, just staring out in the distance. Does he expect me to go out there at all?

I took another deep breath before sliding open the patio door and letting my feet touch the lukewarm concrete. The wind was warm and soothing, and I wanted to get into that pool immediately because I knew it would be as warm as the temperature.

Then, Harry turned around and I clutched the side of my slip and took a step back. He gave me a warm smile and I blinked a few times to make sure it was real. He gave me a smile. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything, Ana.