To Love Again

Lander

"Uy, biro lang!" sabi ko nung napansin kong natahimik si Liv sa sinabi ko. Tumawa sya ng pagkalakas-lakas.

"Kainis ka! Pero seryoso nga, na-in love ka na ba?" pagtatanong nya ulit.

I kept my eyes on the road as my grip on the steering wheel tightened. Feeling ko sumikip at uminit dito sa loob ng kotse.

"Once. I've only had one serious relationship. We lasted for about 4 years," pagsisimula ko.

"Anong nangyari?" tanong ni Liv.

"Well, what always happens. We both realized that we weren't meant for each other. We're still friends, though." sagot ko,

"Sabi nila, if you remain friends with your ex, it's either you still love them or you never did. So which one is it?" Liv pried, looking intently at me.

"You know, Liv. It's a case-to-case basis kinda thing. It's unfair to generalize. Kami ni Yasmina, we started out as friends, the best of friends. Yun yung naging foundation ng relationship namin. Matatag yung friendship namin. So when the romance crumbled, the friendship stood still. Of course, it took a while to compose ourselves--pero we eventually came upon the realization that we're better off as friends. And it works. So to answer your question, it's the first one. I still love her, and perhaps, I always will. I love her as a friend, and that won't ever change." mahabang litanya ko.

"Wow. I'm speechless. Alam mo, ang lalim mong tao 'no? That's what I like about you." nakangiting saad nya.

"We're here!" Liv enthusiastically stated as I parked the car in front of a vacant building located in a small town along the road. I scanned the area, it feels fresh. Homey. Just the perfect ambiance that I'm looking for.

"Ang fresco 'no? Tahimik, like how you want it!" Liv beamed. I grinned.

"Feels like a very tight-knit community." I commented. There were little boutiques around the area and a small local café. It was a quiet place.

"Let's go inside?" Liv asked as we headed towards the vacant space. We were greeted by the building's caretaker, a young woman named Marie. We quickly made our way inside the two story building.

I scanned the place. The walls and the tiles are a little bit outdated, but that's something that could be easily fixed. They have old wooden windows that remind me of our ancestral home. There was a spiral metal staircase in the middle, connecting the two floors. We made our way upstairs, which had an open veranda. I could already envision my new restaurant in this space.

"So what do you think, Lander?" Liv asked.

"I think I found it." I happily stated as I gave the area another scan. This is the perfect place for La Casa de Esperanza. "This feels like home." I stated as I stared at Liv. I saw her blush and look away. 

"That's great! Let's start negotiating with Mr. Quinto." She replied, shifting the topic to relieve the tension building up. 

"So.... I guess my job here is done." Liv stated as we finalized the paperwork for the place. I sensed a hint of sadness in her voice. I felt the same. 

"Yeah. I guess so. Thank you, Liv. For everything." I inched closer to her and opened my arms to wrap her in an embrace. Once our bodies touched, I felt something that I haven't felt before. It felt so right, having her in my arms. I released her from my touch after a couple of seconds as awkwardness filled the room. 

"Why don't I take you to dinner. Just as a gesture of gratitude." I offered. Thankfully, she agreed to my request. We headed to a nearby Japanese restaurant for some ramen and sushi, my favorites. 

"I can't wait to see how you'll transform that space into something wonderful. By the way, may nakuha ka na bang interior designer?" Liv asked,

"Wala pa nga eh. Actually, I was thinking. I mean, kung pwede lang naman, if you could help me?" I asked, nervously. 

"Ako? 'Di naman ako interior designer. Wala akong kaalam alam sa mga bagay na yan," she replied with a chuckle.

"But you know, kung pwede lang na you could help me... with any input from a woman's perspective." I explained. 

"I don't think I'm the right person for the job, Lander. Although, I do appreciate the thought. May kilala akong magaling na interior designer, I can refer you. Pero, as for me, I think hanggang dito nalang yung pwede 'kong maitulong. Sorry." she stated, apologetically. 

"You don't have to apologize. I completely understand... it's just that...." I couldn't find the right words to say. I didn't know how to express the sadness I felt inside in a way that won't scare her. Because I'm scared. I'm scared of taking a risk, but most of all, I'm scared of the idea of not ever seeing her and being with her again.

 I looked into her eyes, and I could swear, I saw that fear in her, too. 

"...what I'm trying to say is that... I'll miss you."