Silently destroyed

Chapter Fifteen

Jade's pov

"So, how have you been feeling, Jade?"

I stare at the wall behind the man.

"Okay, I guess."

He nods and writes something down in his notebook.

"You haven't had a relapse?"

I shake my head. He looks down at my wrists and I pull down my sleeves even more. He looks back up at me and tries to get me to make eye contact with him.

"Jade, I want you to be totally honest with me okay? I don't want you keeping stuff from me, it's not gonna help you and I won't be able to help you either. That's why we're both here."

I bite my lip and look down at my vans. I don't feel like doing this anymore and I really want this session to end.

"Didn't you make a new friend? Alex was his name?"

"Ashton. But we're not exactly friends. You know I don't trust people easily and I can't just suddenly be friends with him."

He nods. "Yes, I know. But this is progress. You're opening up, making new friends."

"It's not a big deal."

I look at the clock, 15 minutes and then I can leave.

"Look, I know this is not your ideal Saturday afternoon but this is helping you. We've known each other for almost about 2 years, I know that's a long time but in those last 2 years, I haven't seen you make so much progress as you have now and I'm proud of you. Don't rush things with this guy, Ashton. Take it slow, don't let him in too easily okay? I know you never do that but I'm still gonna tell you. And please try stopping with the cutting. I know it brings a sense of relief but it's bad."

I nod. "I know, but it's hard. Depression is hard okay. I've got these constant voices in my head, telling me to hurt myself. I feel empty all the time and it sucks okay. I'm the fragile kid and people sometimes even tell me I'm over exaggerating. The only time I feel some kind of peace, is when I cut."

Dr. Merlin gives me a look that just screams sympathy but I don't want his goddamn sympathy. I don't want people to see me as this pathetic little kid.

Dr. Merlin looks at his watch. "Looks like our time is up for this session, Jade."

I grab my backpack and coat and smiling at Dr. Merlin, I leave his office. I see my mom sitting in the waiting room and I walk over to her. She looks up from her magazine and smiles at me.

"How was the session, sweetheart?"

I shrug. "It was okay, I guess."

"Come on, let's go home." My mom stands up and wraps an arm around my shoulders, steering me towards the exit. She gives me a kiss on my forehead and I lean into her. I wrap my arm around her waist and we both walk to the car.

~~~

Hi guys,

Here is the update you've all wanted. Sorry for taking so long. This chapter is a little more personal, so you can get to know Jade a bit more. There will be more stuff, explaining why she got depressed but for now, I want to keep things a bit more simple and not go into full detail all at once. I know it's a short chapter but I quickly had to write something. I also know I was gone for a while but I deleted the app because I didn't feel like doing it for a while. But I'm back and I'll try to upload every week.

x Nadine