The Beginning of a Beautiful ending

Chapter 9: I Wont't Mind

Zayn's P.O.V

I haven't talked to any of the boys in months, but I know that it would probably be best not to talk them right now. Since they are all angry with me, even my little Nialler. So, in the mean time I've been writing music; well  lyrics. Naughty Boy has been helping me out a lot, and I know that every time I walk into the studio with him and not the boys; I know that I've let them down, Louis, Harry, Liam, Niall and even my fans. I let them down and there is no going back now to change it. I still have Perrie and that's all that matters, right?

The same thoughts run through my mind every morning when I wake up, and I'm not in the stupid tour bus, in my bunk. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't laugh at the fact that the boys and I spent all night playing FIFA, because Louis was determined not to lose to any of us. He was "The Tommo Tomlinson", god I miss him. But not just him, I miss all the boys. And even though Naughty Boy says that I shouldn't, I do because without those boys, I wouldn't be who I am today. I know that I may be a shitty person to all those fans I let down, but I think I've really grown as a person. I believe that I have built up the courage to commit outrageous acts of nothingness. But whatever people think of me right now, I won't mind because I know that they are all true. All of them.

I walk into the same studio for the third time that week, seeing as this is where I think I belong. I'm not apart of One Direction anymore, I'm just Zayn Malik a 22 year old whom just wants to live a normal life. But I know that because I was in One Direction and because I am getting married to Perrie; I'm never going to be able to live a normal life, not anymore.

I stand in the doorway before I realize that I've been staring at the wall for at least 5 minutes. Where does the time go, it seriously just flies away. No one seems to notice that everything goes away within a matter of time. Like love, hope, dreams, friends, loved ones, eventually they all just die; and most of the time they can't be brought back, because they have left along with your soul. That's when it hits me, I've made the biggest mistake of my life. I left my best friends, my brothers, so that I can hang out with one of the big red balls from wipeout.

Words began to flow through my brain and within a number or minutes I had a song, and I know just how it was going to be sung.

"Don't look around cause love is blind

And darling right now I can't see you

I'm feeling proud so without a doubt

I can feel you

Cause we are who we are when no one's watching

And right from the start, you know I got you

Yeah you know I got you

I won't mind

Even though I know you'll never be mine

I won't mind

Even though I know you'll never be mine," I left a small pause for while just to add effect,

"We messed around until we found the one thing we said we could never ever live without

I'm not allowed to talk about it

But I gotta tell you

Cause we are who we are when no one's watching

And right from the start, you know I got you

Yeah you know I got you

I won't mind

Even though I know you'll never be mine

I won't mind

Even though I know you'll never be mine" I finished singing my song with one single tear dripping down my face. What have I done, I thought that this was for the best; but it's not. I hate myself for doing this. I can't believe Management even let me do this, it was such an irrational decision, and I feel terrible.