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Chapter 4

A/N: Chapter 4. Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FOLLOW me please. :) Also, after reading this chapter please tell me if you think the plot is moving too fast, too slow, etc. This is supposed to be a SHORT story and I only see two or three chapters and an epilogue in its future. Is it going too fast? All feedback is appreciated!

XOXO

~Kate~

I couldn't think straight.

The smell of arousal was heavy, saturating the room and both of us. I didn't know what I could possibly do to hide this... Did I want to hide this? I felt butterflies in my stomach and my lips tingled from the kiss. Nothing had ever felt like that before. I hadn't felt afraid of his sexual advances and more than that, he had kissed me. I had always assumed I was too fat and ugly to ever trully wanted. Hell, even my mate didn't want me.

Oh right, my mate. "Dawson, breathe."

I realized I'd sucked in a deep breath of horror that I hadn't let out yet. My lungs felt like they were bursting. I forced the air out in a gusty, "Oh my God, what am I going to do?"

"Nothing," Chase replied shortly, giving a bit of distance between us. A good thing because his lips looked tantalizing when they were so close. "I want you Dawson. As my mate."

"No...no." I shook my head. "It can't be."

"Why can't it?" stressed Chase looking hurt.

Why? Well, first off I wasn't fit to be the mate of anyone as powerful as Chase. I was hardly adequate when it came to be a lower ranked wolf's mate. Secondly, why now? What about all the time before this? Surely he didn't wake up one morning wildly in love me. That didn't happen. "It's not allowed," I decided shortly.

I was mated. I belonged to Austin and even though Austin seemed to hate me, he'd been such a kind, goodhearted man these last few days. I felt like I was betraying him. Like I was asking for him to resort to his old ways. He told me it hurt him to hurt me...maybe he was being honest. I'd just done the unthinkable. I had cheated on Austin. Blatantly and stupidly. I deserved what I was going to get tonight. "Why isn't it?"

"Where is this coming from?" I finally demanded. "You can't wake up one morning loving me." I laughed at the concept. "You don't love me."

"Yes I do Dawson. I'm not a perfect man and I have my flaws but ever since I stopped--" He paused then, a pained look crossing over his face. "There's things the pack doesn't know about me. And I want to keep it that way. But... I used Wolfsbane for the last twenty years. I started when I was seventeen as a way to cope with the fact that I was pitiful excuse for a beta wolf."

I sucked in a breath as I stared at him. He didn't look like the horror stories you heard as a pup about the dangers of Wolfsbane. He wasn't red at the eyes, foaming at the mouth, or crazed. He just looked a bit tired. Wolfsbane is the drug sense is a the oil taken from the plant which is normally lethal to werewolves upon consumption. It's purified and other substances added into it and then those using it inject it into themselves. The side effects, from my understanding, were enormous. It's been known to eventually drive werewolves insane or harm their fellow pack mates. Death is the most common one seen.

"I know. It was a stupid. But I wasn't beta material...and my father had no problem pointing that out. The pack knows I'm shitty at my job and Axel puts up with it because I'm not a threat to his power. Or at least he did. Who knows now," muttered Chase running a hand through his hair. "I got the tattoo on my shoulder to hide where I'd shoot it up. I suppose I kept up with it all these years because I liked how it made me feel. I felt powerful. Like I could take on anything and anyone."