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Chapter 10

Going out I was treated differently.

Going out in general wasn't a thing I did normally. Rita seemed to be known. The waitress at the table greeted her warmly by her first name as she handed out the menus. Her eyes lingered on me however. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes down. "Honey, this place has the best fucking burgers in the region. I'd get the double bacon one personally--fuck it. I'm getting it. The fries are to die for too."

Did she honestly think I was going to eat that? Austin would have killed me so surely Chase would feel at least mildly the same. Besides, I'd promised him I would lose the weight and I was going to do just that. "You guys ready to order?" the waitress asked, pen poised and ready.

"A double bacon burger with a side of fries and coke please." she said. "What about you Dawson?"

"Oh, uhm just the house salad please with Italian dressing." I mumbled, laying the menu flat.

"Fuck that. Just get him what I'm having."

"I--"

"Sounds great honey," interrupted the waitress taking the menus. "It'll be about fifteen minutes."

"Thanks," Rita said, turning to look at me. "So how excited are you for the wedding?"

"Er, v-very," I mumbled. "I've never been married before so it'll be interesting..."

"You can say that again," Rita mumbled. "He's absolutely fucking smitten with you though. You should hear him rave about you to our mother."

"Is she...nice?"

To say I missed my mother was a huge understatement. Her death had been untimely and painful especially in its delivery but I'd come to terms with it. I hadn't had any other option. "Our mother is as stupid as she is beautiful, bless her heart. She's a right ol' bitch sometimes but other times she's quite sweet. How about your mother?" she inquired.

"She died a while ago," I said softly, voice wavering a bit. It still hurt to say it.

She paused and bit her lip. "Shit. I'm sorry--fuck, right off the bat huh? Uhm--ha. What-what about siblings."

Max crossed my mind briefly but I powered through. "We don't talk anymore."

"Oh. I'm sorry." she looked for the waitress clearly wanting to end the awkwardness of the moment.

"How about you and Chase?" I asked.

"Well...when he was using we didn't talk much but now he's sober we're definitely getting better." she said.

"What was he like? You know, while he's using?"

"Distant," decided Rita after a minute. "But it's all water under the bridge now. I'm so proud of him for doing this. It was really fucking hard, let me tell you."

I just nodded my head.

***

The food came and fuck was it good!

Rita and I decided on a date and a venue, and she said she'd take care of all the little details. She left late in the afternoon and I was left quite a bit overwhelmed but began to clean up anyway. I searched through the house, trying to sort out what I was going to make for dinner. I pulled out a steak from the fridge and began to fry it.

I turned with a smile as Chase let himself in.

He closed the door and returned the gesture. It felt amazing to have someone smile at me. Austin never seemed to. It was like he was actually glad to see me. "I'll never get over how amazing it is to come home and see you here."

He embraced me, burying his nose in my hair. "So, did you and Rita have fun today?"

"Oh, uhm, yes. We um...set a date?"

"Oh really?" he said excitedly. "That's amazing honey. When?"

"Uh...J-June 19th?" I said, biting my lip. "Is that okay?"

"Perfect. As long as you're there the rest doesn't even matter."

He kissed me. "So what'd you think of Rita?"

"She's really nice...a bit um...swear-y to be honest."

He laughed into my neck. "That's her. It used to drive our mother nuts. All she wanted but a manly, respectable son and a sweet, girly daughter. Instead she got an addict and a commitment challenged, foul mouthed daughter."

He smiled and I just pressed a bit closer. "I hope you're not too busy next Thursday?"

"Not if you need me," replied Chase leaning back a moment. "What's up?"

"Uhm...tuxedos?"

"Oh." His expression went from eager to dead almost immediately. But he forced a smile. "If that's what you need honey..."

"Not-not if you don't want to."

He smiled, kissing my forehead. "I can't say that shopping is my favorite thing to do but knowing that I'm doing it with you makes it worth it."

I blushed. "I love you," I whispered.

He rested his forehead on mine. "I love you more."