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Chapter 5

A/N: this is short...and I do not like it much. But please COMMENT on what you think about it.

XOXO

~Kate~

Austin came home late.

The clock said it was well past two in the morning as Austin slid into bed, keeping to his own side. My throat felt tight. There was a faint hint of arousal on him as well as some light, fruity smell I wasn't sure about. I wasn't sure why this was so devastating for me. I'd suspected ages ago he had someone on the side taking care of his sexual needs because I wasn't adequate apparently. But this felt different. Like it wasn't just sex.

Did he and this mystery wolf have an actual relationship?

My eyes burned with tears at the thought. I hoped not. It wasn't fair. I had given him my entire life... why didn't he love me? I shifted my body a bit, closer to him. Austin noticed, growing still in his shifting. I waited with batted breath--was he going to punish me? "Are you still up?"

I paused, not sure what to say. "I couldn't sleep. I was worried about you."

Austin was quiet a moment. "I'm perfectly fine. Just really busy at work. I'm going to go downstairs to sleep, okay? It's a little hot in here."

Pain stabbed me right in the chest. He was choosing the couch over me. "Okay."

"'S okay. Get some sleep okay?"

He got up, taking his two pillows with him. He closed the door, the sound echoing hollowly in the room.

Alone, I cried myself to sleep.

***

The next morning Austin left before I made his breakfast.

He said he had a lot of work to get to he didn't finish last night. I nodded my head, hiding my tears until he left. I did my chores half-assed, obsessing on where Austin was going, plotting on what I could say to finally get him to out it and then reconsidering and deciding ignorance was bliss.

But the one thing that really disappointed me was the simple fact that Chase didn't come back. Not that day or the one the followed or consecutively for two weeks.

I spent my free time stress eating and it was obvious that I was gaining quite a bit of weight--even my largest clothing felt tight--and Austin never seemed to notice. He would leave early and come home in the dead on the night. He slept on the couch nearly every night. It was miserable.

So when the knock finally did come at the door I all but sprinted toward it.

Chase stood there, his face lifted up when I opened the door.

He didn't look good.

His normally clean shaven face had a rough bristles growing out of it--he looked good with a beard however. His hair was messy and his eyes bloodshot. "Dawson."

His voice was gruff as I he took a forceful step in. I had no choice but to back away and let him enter. He closed to the door hard behind him. I took a timid step back, afraid of whatever would follow. "I've been driving myself crazy since we left things."

His eyes bore into mine. As usual I got these weak, fluttery feelings in my tummy just looking at him. But it wasn't right. "I have to know--I deserve to know--if this is going to happen or not. I'm not looking to waste my time. I can treat you right Dawson. I love you--trully love you. You won't be some substitution for me like you are to Austin. I want you."

"Substitution?" I echoed.

"He never told you?" Chase laughed dryly shaking his head. "He got rejected. We went to school together you know. He had the biggest crush on Marcie Thompson. She was beautiful but had the ugliest personality you've seen. It hurt him, I guess. He wasn't ever the same after. He wasn't meant to be a Warrior Wolf, y'know? They don't have to work out to gain their muscle mass--it's like they're born with it. But Austin wouldn't admit to his father he'd been rejected. So he said he liked males. By then, he'd already gone through training and his father bought him the Delta title... And then came you. Now, Head Warrior Wolves have mates but deltas don't. The pack overlooks this of course, but anywhere else they would have called him out immediately. Austin didn't want you. He used to because he was embarrassed."

Several emotions washed over me at once. Pain, unbelievably pain, rejection, hurt, and anger. "Why are you telling me this?" I demanded, voice wavering. "Just to hurt me?"

Chase's eyes went wide. "Hurt you? I'm trying to help you." he insisted. "Don't you see? This situation is bad. This man has abused you for years and you can't just say enough? You can't wake up and see what's going on?"

"He's been a lot better lately." I feebly argued through my tears.

"Because he's preoccupied with someone he actually loves!" cried Chase, shaking his head. "You're not stupid Dawson--what are you doing with your life right now?"

"So it's my fault then? It's my fault he beats me, that he hates his life? It's my fault he's miserable?"

Chase stared at me a moment and then shook his head. "I hope you realize before it's too late for you," he finally said softly. "I'll be waiting. If you ever do want me or get sick of being treated like shit, remember this: I love you Dawson. You're hurt yourself and I can't stand to watch it."

He started to exit then and I felt loss pulling at my chest. "Wait," I whimpered.

He turned around to look at me. "Yes?" hope glinted in his eyes.

I didn't know if what he said was true but I did know that Austin was cheating on me. He'd beat me for years, treated me terribly, and all I'd wanted was for him to love me. And here was a man who promised that and more. But I felt like I didn't deserve it. It was like Austin had destroyed any self worth I may have had left after my father was finally through with me. My father... Another thing that Chase didn't know about me. He wouldn't see me the same after. How could he?

"What about Austin?"

"If you want to leave him, I'll take care of it."

He closed the door behind him and I felt unease build up inside me. I didn't know what to think or what to do.

Austin had been rejected... He wasn't even attracted to males... That'd explain the lack of sex, right? Maybe it wasn't that I was terribly ugly, it was the fact that I didn't have a vagina. But I was still furious.

What right did Chase have to barge into my life and mess it all up anyway?

Austin was being nice wasn't he?

Didn't that count for something?

Question: What do you think Dawson's going to do?