You can let go now

The Type of Goodbye that can't last

"Sarah , hurry up, time to go" mom calls from downstairs.

I hurry down the stairs 2 luggage bags hang from my hands. Today is the day. I'm finally going to go see my cousin's. After, what happened yesterday I am not sure if I feel excited of leaving or just plain homesick already.  Downstairs mom opens the door for me and we head into the car.

Mom starts making sure I have everything by asking a whole lot of questions throughout the drive.

" Do you have your medicine? , What about money?, Your phone? Extra clothes? Pajamas?"

"Mom I'm ready okay" I say as I smile at her.

We get out the car as we arrive at the airport. We head inside finding that we are 25 minutes early from flight takeoff.

"Sarah, please take care okay" Mom says grabbing my shoulders.

"Yes mom" I respond.

"I'm going to miss you so much, you are growing up so fast"

I nod my head.

"Have fun okay" She hugs me in her arms and kisses my forehead. I smile at her and she smiles back. Happy tears run down her eyes.  She looks tired and sad. Truly sad. A sadness I could not decipher.  Her eyes told me that she was hiding something from me. Something painful.

Suddenly a voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Hey Sarah"

I turn around to find Joseph behind me.  He looks so handsome. He is wearing a casual yet elegant suit and his hair is nicely done. His smile is beautiful and his eyes sparkle like honey in the sun.

"Hey" I smile back.

"I'll leave now Sarah" Moms says as she walks away smiling.

"Hey I'm sorry for what happened yesterday" Joseph speaks.

"It's cool" I say smiling. It actual went beyond that in my head. He has nothing to apologize for.

Joseph puts his right hand in his suit. He  pulls something from inside his suit. It is a little jewelry box. "This is for you" He says.

I open it up to find a shiny necklace.  In the necklace there is a heart filled with 12 tiny diamonds. The diamonds form the heart. The necklace reads "BRAVE" in small letters surrounding the necklace. I didn't expect this. It is beautiful.

" Joseph it is wonderful" I say smiling.

"Here I'll put it on"I turn around as Joseph puts the necklace on me. The necklace has a glowing sense. It glows bright and my stomach tingles as Joseph puts the necklace on me. I feel part of his fingers on my neck and I feel Goosebumps. His hands are so warm and so soft. 

"You like it?" He ask nervously placing his hand in his head.

"Yes, of course, it's beautiful you shouldn't had done this" I say smiling.

"You deserve it" He says in a frozen stare.

"Joseph how did you know I'll be here?"

His face turns red. "Well,  it didn't take much, you know rumors"

We giggle for a while.

 "So your leaving ?" He asks.

"Yes" I struggle to get the words out.

"You know I'm going to miss you" He faces the floor nervously. " I want you to go and have fun, but you know what I mean."

I nod my head.  We pause into a long silence.

"You know when I first met you, you looked so miserable and down" He starts speaking. "And when I found out how brave you are, I admired you. And now it's safe to call you special to me. Really special, so maybe I should not be here. But I felt that I had a right to be here. I had to be here and at least say goodbye."

"Joseph I am not brave at all"

"No. Sarah you don't understand. You are really brave. I don't know no one who has cancer and wakes up every morning confident to be ready to face any struggles like you. I never knew life had struggles until you showed me that life isn't perfect. Sarah I don't know nobody as beautiful as you"

Suddenly they call my flight. I wipe my wet eyes with my sweater and stand up.

"Joseph I have to go" I say knowing deep in side that there was more to be said. Much more.

" Alright I guess I'll leave , Sarah take care" He says leaving with his hand in his pocket.

"Joseph" I say.

"Yes?"

"Goodbye" I say knowing that was the last thing I wanted to say.

"Goodbye" he says turning away.

No. Wait. Don't leave. Not now. I am so confused. It feels like I shouldn't leave. Not now at least. Please Not now. I have to do something. My stomach twirls and a feeling of desperate sadness fills me with every step Joseph takes farther.

"Joseph" I yell desperately. " Joseph - Joseph don't go". It is too late. He is gone. No. I have so many questions to ask him. And I can't. He's gone now.

I sit back in my seat wiping my tears.  They call my flight once more. I have to go. There is no turning back.  I grab my luggage and head towards the plane entrance. I hand the ticket to the lady and my luggage to the workers. I get on the plane and take a seat at the far end.  I plug in my phone and blast the music in my ears. I wish it were raining. It would be a perfect rainy day.

..........................

"Ma'am," Someone calls.

I jump up at the voice. "Yes" I find the flight server in front of me. 

" Ma'am the plane has arrived, please grab your luggage and head towards the exit." The lady walks away.

I stare at my watch and find that the time is 10:45 A.M. I was asleep for three hours. I start grabbing my luggage from the top and head out the plane.  Inside the airport I look for familiar face.

And guess what? I find it.