BLACK

(5) Asleep

EDITED

It's early, and Ajax is cranky.

I hum to myself as I prance around the kitchen still half asleep, trying to feed him and usher him back to sleep at the same time. Roman busies himself outside, loading the jeep with our bags. Light snow falls in the distance, and if I stayed for the day, I might have been able to see the feathery gift of nature up close. I sigh, walking to the front hall and tugging out our coats.

When I agreed to give Jonneth an heir, I hadn't imagined it to be this hard. I'd been mothering packs for a while and I was past maturing. I thought it would be a perfect time to embark a new path in my life, and dare I say it, but it seemed to only anger more. All of my pregnancy, Aris got tired. He touched me less, less than he already does, and with him being my permanent home it made a lot of things harder for me. I barely saw Jonneth during it, Aris would get jealous lots and purposely keep me away from him. The rest of my mates got the same, but it was already so rare seeing them anyways. The pack was especially angry with me. They weren't allowed to talk badly about their Luna, but sadly they were still the reason I lost enjoyment in exploring the pack. At first I thought it was because I was getting fat, or ugly, but then the media hurt me the most. I realized that no one believed I had more than one mate, and Aris allowing me to birth another Alpha's heir was despicable.

Despite all the negatives, and worst year of my life that I was supposed to be glowing, I got one good thing out of it. I got little J, and the wonderful help of Zena and Batter. Although Aris can't even listen to his name, he makes me happy. In the end, I'm glad to of gone through with it after Jonneth passed. I like to think the greater spirit really does look out for me, and even if they can't change the future, they can make it better for me.

I roll the small sleeves back from his wrists so he doesn't get them soaked when he throws his fist into his mouth. Small sneakers with socks keep his toes warm and I don't worry about the rest, the private jet will have a blanket somewhere for me to wrap him in.

Roman returns in the door, a cloud of breath escaping his mouth in the cold. "Ready to go?" He asks just as I finish pulling on my own coat.

I readjust Ajax on my hip, keeping an eye on the bottle in his poor grip. I scan the room one last time, racking my tired-mommy memory for any lost belongings. Not that if I do, I won't be back in a week or two to visit Roman again.

"Yeah," I finally respond.

At the jeep, I tuck Ajax in his seatbelt and climb into the passenger seat. Over the console, My fingers lace into Roman's and I ignore the sadness trying to emit from me. I don't want to leave Roman, but its a sadness I feel with everybody.

Roman leans over and kisses my cheek, fingers from his free hand grazing my chin. I turn my head, a black lock falling from my shoulder. Closing my eyes, I accept his gentle kiss before it turns french. We kiss for minutes before I hear a grumble from Ajax.

I break the kiss and glance at Ajax for concern, smiling when his eyes are lulling with exhaust. I grab the slightly warm bottle from his arms and rest it in a cup holder. The clock reads a little after four am, and my eyes wish to do the same.

"We should get going," I mumble and rest my head on my shoulder. Roman chuckles, skimming my hand with his thumb as he shifts gears.

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The barrier of soft sound breaks with an alarm, beeping drawing me from my slumber. A hand touches my shoulder, and unprotected by the welcoming warmth of my mate, any mate, I blink awake with shock.

Amar, Roman's Gamma, kneels by the door and reaches to unbuckle my seat belt. "Oh thank heavens you're alive." His eyes are watering, tears close to brimming over the edge.