Coated (ON HOLD)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Never give up, they say, I reminded myself while listening to the song that both Jake and I loved the most, as memories of us together flooded back along with deep emotions. I closed my eyes shut as I felt warm tears against my skin but that smile on my face never faded away.

With how much I try to fight that feeling, to convince myself that I don’t love him anymore, it just never works. At that moment I decided that I wanted to surrender to that feeling. Is loving him such a crime?  It’ll all work out, it has to.

“I won’t give up” I whispered to myself before finally falling asleep.

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“Are you out of your mind?!”  Anna yelled so loud, that it caused everyone in the school cafeteria to stare at us.

“I know how crazy it sounds Ann, but I’ve already made up my mind, so don’t try to talk me out of it because that won’t work.”I replied as I prodded around with the food on my plate, avoiding any eye contact with her.  

I heard her heave a sigh before speaking again

“Fine Kells, I won’t. It’s just that I think that it’s a terrible idea, you’re so vulnerable right now, him rejecting you will only add fuel to the fire.”  

“You’re right!” I admitted. “But that’s a risk I’m willing to take”  

She raised an eyebrow clearly unconvinced, as she took her blonde hair up into a high ponytail and secured it with an elastic hair band. “When will you do it though?”

“Right after school” I said enthusiastically with a broad smile on my face.  

“I have a bad feeling about this. But you’re so stubborn!”

“And you’re such a pessimist” I responded jokingly 

After a short while, the bell rang and both Ann and I headed separate ways .Sometimes I wish we had more classes together .It’s not that I don’t have other friends in my classes, in fact I have plenty. But she was a really trustworthy friend that I know I could really count on. She would never sugar coat anything just to make me feel satisfied with a plain lie. 

Through the rest of the classes I had today, I barely paid any attention to what any of the teachers were saying and got in trouble when in one class the teacher asked me what he last said and I wasn’t able to reply. All my attention was consumed in playing scenarios in my head of what might or might not happen when I go and tell Jake that I still loved him.

I closed my locker after getting my biology notebook out and shoved it in to my tote bag. I walked through the hallway when I spotted Jake with a bunch of his friends chatting loudly. I took in a deep breath and started to walk towards him, my heart pounding vigorously against my chest. When I was only a couple of meters away I started feeling reluctant but I pushed the feeling aside. I remembered when we were together I would hug him from behind and he would look at me saying “stop doing that, you scare me” while he would try holding in a laugh. But now, I just tapped awkwardly on his back

He turned around looking at me; he was obviously surprised to see me.

“Kelly?”

“Can we talk?”

He stayed silent for a bit before answering after he finally recovered from his shock.

“umm ok” 

We both walked to a corner next to the lockers where it was a bit less noisy.

“So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”