Greeks, Countrymen, Lovers, Monsters? (Sequel to Halfblood IsThicker Than Magic)

One Helluvah Woman

Before we start, no I don't like Twilight, no offence.

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, 07Dwaven is not dead, just the worst person at uploading ever.

Second, there is a part of her fans-
and she didn't know how dominant that part might be-
that thirsts for her blood.

And Third, YES I FINALLY UPLOADED.

Sorry, sorry sorry, yes its been two months yes I know I'm sorry FORGIVE ME. I would try and persuade you but I'm sure everything I was going to say has already crossed your minds. This is my design. I am an utter clotpole I know that but EXAMS!!! And remember, happiness can be found in the darkest of places if one simply remembers to bloomin' upload. (By the way comment if you got any of those references and the first to spot all of them shall recieve a dedication and a virtual cookie. I am waiting my dears.) Okay, continue... (No I am not high...)

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Harry's P.O.V.

There was a yelp and a loud thud as Percy hit the floor. Or should I call him Percina? Perlinda? Priscilla? Anyway, the girl out cold on the floor looked like Percy. He- I mean she had short, straight black hair, was slim in an athletic kind of way and although her eyes were shut I was willing to bet my broom (the latest Jetstream #2 if you must know) that she had Percy's sea green eyes too.

My eyes flitted over her, um, body before I jerked my head back to look around the room. This was just so weird. And that's coming from me.

'Well you can't deny it.' Ron started shamelessly in a terrible american accent. 'Percy makes one helluvah woman.'

I quietly face-palmed as the crack of hand meeting face resounded around the room. When I looked back up Hermione was rubbing her hand softly while her husband's ears turned bright red to match the freshly glowing handmark on his cheek.

Nico let out a low whistle. 'Man Hermione, that is one mean bitch slap.'

He shut up pretty quick as Hermione gave him a look which I'm sure she copied from Professor McGonagall.

'Right,' she snapped. 'Will someone please wake Percy up so we can finish planning?'

'Looks like my work here is done,' Aphrodite chipped in brightly. 'I better be off, you know how it is! Clothes to buy, lives to ruin.' And with that a simpering smile she was gone.

We all stood awkwardly in a circle and, in order to break the silence more than anything, I whipped out my wand, pointed it at Percy and muttered 'Ennervate.'

We all watched as Annabeth gave a groggy Percy a hand up and he walked over to the mirror, stumbling slightly as he went.

'Woah,' he breathed. 'Seriously? I'm a...a-' But instead of Percy's normally deep voice, he spoke with a high fluttering tone. 'No this is just weird dude! I mean, I've got' he mouthed the word boobs.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Nico let out a huge guffaw, followed by unstoppable chuckles which developed into full on belly laughs. Eventually everyone, even Ron, Hermione and Percy, was laughing and it took a good ten minutes for everyone to calm down. Unfortunately it was at that point that Ron caught Percy's eye and set us all off again.

Finally we had all hiccuped ourselves into silence and Annabeth started to talk strategy.

'Right, okay, so the, um, diguise is sorted and we'll call you-'

'Prissy,' smirked Ginny.

'Don't you dare,' said Percy darkly, but his voice squeaked and fluttered, completely ruining the menacing effect.