Source Of Sorrow [BoyXBoy]

.:6:.

Right after the group session, Alex rushed out and disappeared without a single word. I found it quite strange, but decided to ignore his behaviour, believing that maybe he had a session with some doctor, which he had to attend. Having nothing else to do with myself, I wondered around the institution until I found my way into my room and stayed there. It wasn't the most exciting thing, but it gave me time to think.

'Fixing' Alex didn't seem very difficult, considering it didn't look like much needed to be fixed. Yes, he vaguely talked about his problems with dreams but, other than that, there didn't seem to be any major issues. I still had Dr Jardine's words in my mind though: what if he was faking it?

I knew how easy it was to simply pretend, as I had gone through a couple of years where I acted like I was fine, even though I wasn't. All it took was a real-looking smile and a clear head.

Glancing over to the corner of the room, I noticed my suitcase. It must have been delivered while I was with Alex, because it was not here before. Swiftly I approached it, fishing through all of the pockets and checking if everything was in place. The only thing I did not manage to find out were my two bottles of pills. Where did they go?

"Shit," I muttered to myself, realisation hitting me like a punch to the chest. I needed those pills! I needed them more than anything.

"Jack?" Came a sweet voice from the entrance to my room. I spun around to see a doctor, who I had noticed while walking around, but I never learned who she was. "I came to give you your pills."

"But..." I trailed off, confused. "I brought them with me; where are they?"

"We had to check your suitcase - you know, for safety purposes, in case you had something dangerous in there – and we noticed a problem with your current medication. We looked it up and realised that it hadn't been fully developed and wasn't entirely safe for you to take."

"Well, yeah, of course it wasn't entirely safe, because it could increase blood pressure, but I got tests done quite frequently and everything was fine. Doesn't like every medication have side effects? And I've been taking those pills for over two years now and they have been helping, so I don't see what's wrong."

"We're just worried about you and we want what's best for you," she kindly assured, "so we prescribed you some new pills. Now that you're li...um, staying here, one of the staff will come along and supply you with them. And, today, that's me!"

"I thought I was a member of staff," I pointed out, annoyed with this whole situation. I could handle my own medication, thank you very much!

"Yes, yes! Of course you're a member of staff, we just don't want any of the other patients getting their hands on your belongings. Also, that's why we're going to have to keep your suitcase in the staff room: we don't have locks on the doors, in this section of the building, so a patient could just walk in and take something which would harm them."

"That's okay, I guess..." I breathed, still frustrated with how complicated things here were. "So, if I want to get something, I just need to go to the staff room and get it from there?"

"Uh-uh." The woman wagged a slim finger, at me. "You may be a 'doctor'," she used her hands to make quotation marks - which I found quite offensive, as I was specifically told that I was a doctor, "but you're not exactly a qualified doctor. There are some very important things in the staff room and we wouldn't want anyone getting their hands on them."

"I'm not a child," I snapped, deciding that I did not like this woman. "I don't go around fucking everything up, so stop acting like I do."

The woman blinked, obviously surprised by my obscene language, but I wouldn't let anyone treat me like this. I was here to do a job and if they didn't let me do it my way, then their loss – they were the ones desperate for my help, after all.

"Ooh, feisty Jack. Me likey," came a suggestive voice from the doorway, before Alex swaggered his way past the woman and paraded in like he owned the place. He loosely flung his arm over my shoulder, leaning into me comfortably. "Are you done here?" He asked the female, with a bit of an attitude.

All the doctor did as sigh and force two blue pills and a glass of water into my hand, before crossing her arms over her chest as if waiting for something. I gave her a questioning look and she motioned towards the medication in my hands. Reluctantly I popped the pills into my mouth and brought the water up to my lips, swallowing both quite easily. The female gave me a satisfied look, before exiting the room.

"God, Dr Momsen can be such a bitch sometimes," Alex muttered and I guessed that he was referring to the doctor. It was strange how he only called Dr Jardine by her first name. I guessed that she was maybe his main doctor and he was closer with her than with any of the others.

Alex was still standing close, with his arm around me, and I felt him turn his head and lean in closer to me.

"What are you doing?" I questioned, as he buried his face in my untidy hair and took a sniff.

"Your hair smells nice. What shampoo do you use?"

"What?"

"What shampoo do you use?" He repeated, his voice muffled by my thick strands of hair.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because your hair smells nice," he, again, repeated his previous phrase as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Err, I don't know. Just some random one?" It sounded more like a question, rather than an answer. What was up with him?

"Well, it smells like cherries." Alex pulled away, a huge smile on his face.

The boy led me over to the bed, where we sat cross-legged, facing each other, and explained how he had most of the day off so we could do anything we wanted. All he had to do was pop to the infirmary, in the evening, and take medication. Mine came in the form of pills, whereas his came in the form of a jab, which he had to have every five days. At first he hated it, he explained, but after a while he got used to it and it was not so scary anymore.

We sat there carelessly chatting for a while, until something which had been peacefully resting at the back of my mind was awakened.

"I need to use the restroom," I mumbled, jumping off the bed and leaving Alex hanging, mid-sentence. He did not follow me, which was a huge bonus. Making sure that no one saw, I slipped into the toilets and entered one of the cubicles. This was a low security institution, so luckily there were no cameras here, however none of the doors had locks. There was a low chance of anyone coming inside and peeking in, while I was supposedly doing my business, so I assumed that it was safe enough.

Hesitant, because I knew of what was to come, I leaned over the toilet, keeping myself steady with one hand, while the other trailed to my lips. I slipped two fingers inside my mouth and massaged the back of my throat, making myself gag in the process. I gave a short cough, but nothing other than that happened, so I tried again and again, until finally I sensed that familiar disgusting taste. Without warning, what felt like an entire four course meal (but was only my pills and about a quarter of a carton of juice which I previously drank) spilled out of my lips like a waterfall. It collided with the toilet and I was satisfied, when I saw two half-digested, small, blue pills floating around in the tainted liquid.

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A/N

Hey, everyone! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I know, it's quite confusing right now, but it will get better.

Also, no, Jack is not bulimic. Him throwing up at the end has nothing to do with anorexia.

Thank you for reading!