Source Of Sorrow [BoyXBoy]

.:12:.

I did not feel any butterflies in my stomach, like I had always been told I would. Instead, it was more like an unexpected eruption of pure euphoria and adoration and it was nothing like I imagined it would be. It was like a shot of adrenaline, as I could almost feel the blood pumping faster through my veins and rushing into all of my organs at an abnormal speed. My lungs nearly failed at their job, with how alive I felt at that precise moment in time.

Alex's lips were on mine.

They comfortably rested there, barely even touching, but it was enough to drive my senses crazy. His lips were softer than cushions and tasted like cherries, which highly confused me, but the thought disappeared as suddenly as it came by, when I felt the perfect pair of lips push down on mine slightly more firmly.

The realisation truly struck me, at that moment in time, and I did not hesitate to start moving my own lips against his. Alex accompanied my movements with his own, still keeping most of his body off of mine by holding himself up, but tangling his legs with mine. I was falling for this boy way too hard.

This was a desperate kiss. It might have been our first, but we wanted to savour it in case it would be our last. In the back of my mind, I knew that this was wrong. He was a patient and I was supposed to be helping him, not kissing him, but Alex was irresistible. But I knew that nothing would come out of this. One day, even if it would not be at the end of this week but some time later, I would have to leave however Alex could still be uncured from his disorders. And even if both of us left, people would be demanding explanations as to how we met and saying 'I worked at a mental hospital and tried curing him from bipolar disorder, but we fell in love' would not be the most socially acceptable answer.

But I carried on anyway, lacing my fingers in his luscious hair and desperately pulling him down onto me further. Our tongues danced together, wrestling for dominance, and even a dead baby with no sort of brain activity or competence could have predicted who would win that battle. Obviously I caved in and allowed Alex to take control of the situation without putting up much of a fight, as I knew that I would have gave in anyway sooner or later. His chest pressed down on mine and the closeness of our bodies was driving me crazy. I wanted to take this moment and bottle it up to keep with me forever.

Everything about this was perfect. Alex was perfect.

Unwillingly, both of us had to pull away because our lungs were dangerously empty. As our lips disconnected, we both breathed heavily and Alex stayed propped up on top of me. Unconsciously, I felt a small smile start creeping up on my face as I gazed into his deep chocolate eyes. I was ecstatic! I just made out with the boy who I had been having a crush on for ages, and he was the one who started it meaning that he liked me too (at least a little bit).

I slowly found myself chuckling at the previous events and Alex joined me too and, before we knew it, we were rolling around on the space which the small bed provided and we were laughing. Everything about what just happened was so hilarious! I liked Alex for so long, but did not want him to find out in case that would make him view me differently. But now it was like I did not care.

I did not care that this was frowned upon. I did not care that we were in a mental hospital. I did not care that I would have to leave Alex behind. This single moment was all that mattered to me and it was the happiest I had ever been in my entire miserable life.

"I need you, Jack," he repeated in a whisper, when we had finally calmed down. He was comfortably lying next to me on his side, so that we could face each other.

"I need you more!" I countered, but blushed sheepishly at the same time. I felt so cheesy saying this, but it had to be said as it was the truth. "You make everything so much better. My nightmares are going away and I'm feeling alive again. All because of you... I really don't want to leave."