Outlander: The Standing Stones

Learning the Rules of the Game

One of my readers on Wattpad told me that she started watching the Outlander TV series because she liked my story so much. Wow!

I expected Jamie to feel awkward, perhaps even ignore me. After all, what we did was a rather spontaneous thing and I did entice him-make that seduced him. I'm thirty, I can deal with awkward. And I had been married to a very precocious twenty year old.

If that's what I expected, I was wrong. The next day I was in the barn, mucking stalls (a pastime which is much more relaxing than you'd think) when he came up behind me, pressing himself against me. He put his lips close to my ear and whispered, "Would ye come with me?"

"Behave yourself," I whispered, "I've got stalls to muck, and I'm barely half finished."

"Please?" Now, where have I heard that before? He might be twenty three, but he's just discovered a new toy that he can't get enough of.

"Hmmm," I said, teasing, "I have to think about this. Tell you what, you go start down at the end of the row and help me get these stalls clean, and maybe, maybe, I'll go with you."

He made a face, but grabbed a shovel and pitchfork and began to help. At last we wound up in the same stall and he began to kiss my lips and neck-I was wearing too many clothes for him to be able to reach anything else.

What the hell, I thought, how many times had Georgie found me when I didn't expect him? We had been greedy for each other, and could not ever seem to get enough. Jamie had been an outlet for all the pent up craving and grief, and now I found myself wanting him again.

"All right," I said and put the fork away and followed him. He led me to a well-hidden corner of the loft and pressed me gently down. He started undoing my bodice as he began kissing me, and when his hands found my breasts, I was past resistance. I pushed down his coat and his shirt so I could feel his chest and suck on his nipples-sounds weird, I know, but men's nipples are as sensitive as mine. I began to run my hands over his chest, his shoulders and his arms, and then notice the hardness of the skin on his back.

I pushed him back gently, against his objections I turned his torso around and looked. I whistled through my teeth, "Whose bad side did you get on? This could have killed you, Jamie."

"Jonathan Wolverton Randall, of His Majesty's army." He was embarrassed, but I patted his back gently.

"I had a couple of run ins with him myself-the last one, he tried to abduct me on my wedding day. I imagine he paid a pretty price for that." I shook my head, "If he wanted you dead, why not kill you outright? That's kinder than killing you by inches like this." I lay back on the hay, looking at his young face.

"You've been in the world longer than I, lass, d'ye ken a reason?"

This was an easy question to answer. "Yes, Jamie, it's because he hates himself, so he has to take it out on the world. He prefers inflicting pain on others to facing the reasons why. He wanted to rape me, but I don't think it was me that he wanted, I think it was my husband, who wanted no part of him". I sat up and put my arms around him, "Hate him all you will, some day, when you're ready you'll be able to forgive him when you understand how truly miserable he is. You may still hate him, but you'll be able to put this in the past. Takes a long time though, I had some forgiving to do that I never thought would happen." Like my father, I thought, when I stopped hating him I realized he was just human, and he loved me.

"Enough of that," he said firmly, "I didn't bring you up here to say confession."

"I certainly hope not, but remember, we both have work to do." Well, I wasn't so very worried about working at the moment, and it felt good to lie with him, skin to skin. He was a little more sure of himself this time. I let him have his way, stopping him only when he grew too rough. He still had a lot to learn, a lot to explore, but I didn't know if I wanted the role of teacher in Jamie Fraser's life.