Outlander: The Standing Stones

When I Return to My Home

I held onto Mac tightly, afraid to let go. For the first time in almost two years, I felt firmly rooted to the earth. I began to feel light-headed, the blood rushing to my brain, and short of breath, like I could not get air into my lungs.

I looked up at him. "Mac," I said, and all soon went black.

I woke in my bed, Geillis laying a cool rag across my forehead. "You gave us a scare," she said, "I've never seen you faint before. You aren't pregnant, are you?"

I hadn't even considered this. "My god, Geillis," I whispered, "I hope not. The last thing I want is to be pregnant with Jamie Fraser's child."

"Don't worry," she soothed, "We can take care of it if you are—if you don't want it, that is. And you don't, do you?" I shook my head, "Well, leave it to me, then, in the meantime, your Mac is waiting outside the door. He wouldn't leave until he knew you were all right."

"Geillis," I said as she turned to leave, "What do you think of him, Mac, I mean?"

"Yon's a man, my dear," she winked, "And you'd be a fool to let this one go. He might even be willing to spend part of every year in Egypt with you."

I was about to deliver a stinging reply when there was a knock at the door. Geillis smiled and lifted her eyebrows. I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed, then opened the door.

Mac stood there, his hat in his hands. "I came to see Irina, is she all right?"

"Yes," Geillis smiled, "She's fine, the shock of seeing you must have overwhelmed her. The same thing might have happened to me in similar circumstances. I'll leave you two to talk. I'll let the others know that you're all right, you did give us a scare, Irina." She left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

"Who is she?" Mac queried, "She's a pistol."

"My best friend, in fact, maybe my only friend. Her name is Geillis Duncan, and she came through the stones, just like we did." I paused for a moment, "Mac, why didn't you tell me about them? I know all the old superstitions, like what might happen if you sleep in the shadow of the stones, but..."

We were interrupted by Mary's tap at the door, and she came in carrying Callum. "I'm sorry to disturb you, mum, but he was fussing and his nurse couldn't soothe him. I thought I'd bring him to you, then put him down for his nap."

"It's all right, I'll take him." I help out my arms and took Callum from her. She bobbed a quick curtsy and left.

I held my baby tightly, fearful of what Mac might think. He had come to find the Irina he'd met in Mrs. Struan's bed and breakfast. What he saw now was a widow with a small child. Did I care what he thought? My baby meant everything to me, as had my marriage to Georgie. My image in the mirror assured me that I had not changed much physically, but I was not the same woman that he had met a year and a half ago. Would he like the new me, I wondered?

"Is the bairn yours?" asked Mac, the look on his face at seeing me with my son in my arms was almost priceless.

"Yes, he's mine. His father was George Campbell the Younger, the heir of Clan Campbell. Georgie was killed by his cousin while I was still pregnant. Jamie Fraser helped me escape from the Campbells and brought me here. This is the only home Callum has known.

"I want to escape, I have to figure out a way to flee with a young child, it's not so easy now as it might have been."

Mac surprised me. He held out his arms and asked, "Would he let me hold him?" I nodded. Strangers did not upset Callum, everyone in Caer Leoch was his friend. He gently took Callum from me, and held him, bouncing him a little as is just about everyone's habit with a baby.