Self-Destructive Ambition

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In my mind, I'm controlled, I'm trapped,
You used to call me fat and then I snapped.
I stopped eating, but when I ate it wasn't down for long,
All I wanted was to belong.

I counted calories and exercised a lot,
Soon weight was my only thought.
I had a goal which was to be thin,
And eating became my biggest sin.
Then you noticed and complimented my weight,
But it wasn't enough, and I said, "Just you wait!"

Soon enough I couldn't stand a thing I ate,
Little did I know... This would be my fate.
I was hospitalized for my condition,
And this was all because of my ambition.

The doctors told me, if I didn't eat, I'd die,
But every time I thought of food, I'd cry.
I couldn't do it; I was no longer in control,
And it felt like I was sinking into a black hole.

Now I am dead,
And it's all because of what you said.
You called me fat,
And that's the end of that.

~-fifty-shades-of-suicide~

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