daybreak | yoonmin

march 7th ⅓.

11:31 p.m.

Jimin made sure he had his glasses on by the time he got to the window.

The light was gone from the sky now. He could barely make out anything more than the silhouettes and shadows of the alleyway below. The scent of food from nearby eateries and petrichor mingled in the chilly air around him. Which reminded him: one of these days he should stop by Yoongi's job on his day off and visit. Might get the hook-up.

Pale water moonlight trickling from the heavens. He waited with his shoulders slouched and lips pouted and messy hair, passing the time by counting the windows on the adjacent building. He got to twenty four when the windowpane parallel from him slid open. A head full of blue hair followed the thunk.

Jimin's eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness of the night. With the help of a neighboring apartment lights and some desk lamp behind him, he could see a very nervous-looking Yoongi pulling up a stool and sitting there, hand in cheek, like stars were in his eyes. Jimin waved at him, leaning over onto the windowsill and then resting his head in his folded arms.

"Are you alright?" Jimin asked, growing concerned over the timid expression on the ever-radiant boy's face. A breeze sent ends of flyaways tickling over his skin.

A small shrug came next, followed in turn by a coy look through his lashes. Jimin realized that his friend's emotional state was purely intact and he breathed out a sigh.

Yoongi grinned, his head dropping into the cradle of his folded arms on the windowsill. "I'm okay. Just a little nervous."

"Why?"

"Because we're going on a date tomorrow night," Yoongi's eyes were aglow, "Right?"

"Huh?"

Jimin's eyes opened opener than ever than they'd ever been.

He remembered the time that he first saw Yoongi he thought he looked like a character he'd like to write about one day. Sitting on the other end of the train car. Minding the outside world as it passed by, whatever music trapped between an earbud and an eardrum. Thought he'd never see him again so he recorded him in words a year ago, last fall. He got stuck on the second page and abandoned it. Could never pin down a word for the energy a man like Yoongi exuded. How he made him feel. There were too many words and things to say about him and nothing just right.

Too many things to say now. Nothing just right.

Taehyung.

Figuring he'd caught the boy off guard the first time around, and that his skills were a bit rusty from months without use, Yoongi tried to maintain a smile as he went for a second take.

"I have it planned out already. Do want to see a movie tomorrow night? There are some good ones in theaters right now, so just look up showtimes for the one you want to see. I haven't been on a movie date in years, but I remember you said you like drive-ins. Well, I coudn't find a drive in, but I found a dine-in cinema. They bring the food to you and stuff. And if you're not full when we're done I can cook dinner for you. I was gonna text and ask, but..." He explained. And there it was in blue post-it's, like window glass reminders to wear glasses. "Go out with me?"

Jimin just let the wind blow and read the words over and over then read his face. Post-it's. Face. Face. Post-it's.

"I mean, if you're free! And only if you want to!" Yoongi waved his hands reassuredly, blood rapidly fanning out beneath his cheeks. He wanted to spare at least one of their feelings tonight, knowing very well that if Jimin didn't say yes that he'd wasted time thinking over various ways he'd ask him out in the mirror and finding out all the little things that made Park Jimin tick and--

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck--

"Yoongi, you..."

"I know, I know. It's corny," He interjected.

"It is. It really is." Jimin's face softened. "But it's so thoughtful."

Yoongi sat up at his window, "Since I've been getting to know you I've learned a lot about your sense of humor but when I talk about kissing you, it's hard to read whether you're joking or not when you say you don't want to. I just want to be sure. I know you said you didn't like me, but I thought maybe you were joking? Our mornings are the highlight of my day most days. And maybe you aren't joking but... I want more than just your mornings. I don't know why I even tried to act like I don't want you."

"I was joking. I was joking but I'm not..."

"You are.... gay, right?"

Jimin bit down on his lip, his brows furrowed and gaze in his lap. He nodded slowly.

Whew! I thought my gaydar was off. He chuckled at himself then allowed their eyes to rendezvous.

"So why do you sound like you're about to say no?" Yoongi's head tilted, puppylike. Jimin's mouth was moving across the way, but his voice lowered and he couldn't hear him. "Wait, wait, start over. I can't hear you."

It was even harder to repeat.

"I said," Jimin looked away, "that I shouldn't. I have a boyfriend, Yoongi. I didn't mean to let you get this close. I..."

"We're in a tough spot right now but I can't see myself..."

"Oh. Okay." He chuckled. "Yeah, no, it's fine. You don't need to explain."

Jimin didn't know what to say.

"He's really lucky, you know."

"... We're still friends, right?"

"Of course, Jimin. I'll see you tomorrow morning. And don't make it awkward. I'm a grown man and I'll be fine."

"Yoongi..."

"Nah, nah. Seriously. Hey, at least you told me before my feelings were too deep."

Yoongi accepted his defeat with grace, smiling as he turned away from the window and traipsed pensively to the depths of his apartment, devoured by the shadows the desk lamp created when he shut it off. Jimin saw him throw his hands over his head, like Killua. Then he saw a black hole in the brick face of the building, a sinkhole, swallow all of the blue.

Knowing and feeling. Knowing those words should not have made him feel like he was making the wrong choice, but feeling a pang anyway. Eyes open and opener than ever before.