daybreak | yoonmin

may 18th ½.

11:09 p.m.

Yoongi pushed Jimin away.

"You're making me feel small."

"Why? Did you want to be the big spoon?"

"Yes."

"Not my problem."

Jimin was an alchemist. It was too easy for him to produce a smile in Yoongi from nothing, and to bewitch him was even simpler. Love spun him over in Jimin's arms to face him, and it almost worried Yoongi how much he didn't care to hide his grin.

As awkward, tense, and gloomy as things were, Yoongi still managed to smile. Jimin wondered how he could be so cheery all the time. He wondered: what what he was hiding whenever he caged his tongue? 

"Get off of me," Yoongi's hungry breath hit Jimin's face with as much attitude as the boy to which it belonged. But he only slid closer.

Because Jimin thought about how kind Yoongi was. And Yoongi was thinking about how dumb he was for being here.

And Yoongi didn't know what to call whatever he and Jimin had. But Jimin knew he would cry about this moment later when, inevitably, the illusion cleared like smoke. 

The watery city lights danced onto the sheets. Their pale feet grazed each other over Yoongi's black bedding. The silence was like the darkness. Light, Jimin's voice pierced it.

"Do you want to come with me to my cousin's graduation party on the twenty-third?"

"What kind of graduation are we talking?" He murmured groggily.

"It'll be at the MET."

"Deal."

"Wait, why does it matter?" Jimin chuckled, lifting his head.

"It doesn't. I was going to say yes no matter what," Like an old, lazy dog he didn't bother opening his eyes to reply. "Why though?"

"Why what?"

"Why bring me along? I've never met your family before and aren't they expecting your plus one to be--"

"Taehyung?"

Yoongi hesitated, but continued.

"A girl. Won't they start to... notice a pattern?"

"Their gaydar is from like 1986. They can't tell." Jimin lightly laughed, exhaling until his grin left no trace. "Sometimes I wish they could notice, though. Sometimes I want them to see... me."

Jimin sighed, "Not many people see me. It gets lonely sometimes. Doing all the watching and never really feeling..." 

Yoongi rolled onto his back to look at the ceiling. He said nothing for a long, long time.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm here on earth to observe."

Jimin turned his head to look.

"Because there's love all around me and I'm just standing there. I kind of just have to watch it. And..." 

Sometimes I watch it from really far away. Sometimes I watch it from really close and still don't get to be held by it.

And for a really long time I thought I did something really bad in my last life. Because why else would it happen to everyone else but me? I fell in love once and it didn't go right. I gave it my all and then it wasn't enough. Why did that happen to me and no one else? 

 It took meeting you to realize I have my head turned towards places they don't need to be. The only time anyone can be brave is when you're afraid. So I met you at the right time in my life, and I thought, Yes, I am scared. What if I just let you know me anyway?