Legend:
MACRO- Bold
ZOEY- Italic
"Hello, this is the Starbucks Hotline. Ready to answer MY questions?"
"Yep."
"Okay. Question one; What's your full name?"
"Hermione Jean Granger."
"I'm serious."
"Haha, I'm kidding!"
"I'm not."
"Ooh, bitchy much? Are you on your you-know-what again?"
"No. I'm just cranky cause I didn't get my daily dose of coffee today."
"Ew. I hate coffee."
"You order at Starbucks."
"Oh, yeah. Wow, I'm such an idiot...but, hey. You work at Starbucks."
"So?"
"Zoey, you work at a coffee shop and you haven't had coffee."
"Oh, yeah. Wow, I'm such an idiot. Just a sec. I'll make me some coffee."
"(sigh) Zoey, sometimes I'm not sure if you're smart or not."
"(shuffling noises)"
"....."
"(shuffling noises)"
"......."
"(more shuffling)"
"......."
"(shuffling noises)"
"......."
"Hey, I'm back."
"Finally."
"Miss me? (slurping sounds) OW! THUCK! MHHY THSSONGUE ITH ON FIWWE!"
"I'm pretty sure that translates to; 'Ow! Fuck! My tongue is on fire!'"
"(shuffling noises)"
"....."
"Whew. That coffee was lava. My tongue still hurts."
"(sigh) Okay. Now, back to your question."
"Oh, right. What's your full name?"
"Macro William Hudson Ricardo Porter Kelvin."
"Well, that's long. I'll call you Ricardo from now on."
"No! Please don-"
"Wazzup, Ricardo meh Muchacho."
"Oh dear."
"Oh dear? When are you, in medieval times?"
"Well, I followed in your footsteps. From now on, I will not use God's name in useless purposes."
"Good boy, Ricardo. Now sit!"
"I ain't your dog, woman."
"Whatever. So, question two; what are your fears?"
"Umm...the ocean, whales, sharks, ghosts-well, not the idea of ghosts but just the idea of their coexistence. I mean, there might be a ghost aggressively break dancing beside me right now, for all I know. Um...math, mice...and oh! Space! Holy shit, space."
YOU ARE READING
The Starbucks Hotline
Short Story❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞...
