Battle Scars (l.brooks fan fiction)

Chapter 9

The Bridge. I breathed in the air and it smelt beautiful. It was calming. It was relaxing.

I watched my breath form a mist in front of me, covering my face and then disappearing as I steadily walked along the edge to the middle, sitting down and hanging my legs off of the edge. I remembered the last time I was here, talking to Luke while eating Chinese, meeting that girl who stayed with me for a week whom I haven't spoken to since (apart from the occasional wave). My eyes felt droopy but the chilly air bit adrenaline into my skin that made me feel alive and ever so awake. It made me feel powerful.

There was hardly any scenery at night, nor was there any lights to show the scenery that was there. I had only seen this bridge once during the day time. All the other times had been during night when I was returning from my old friends house. I had always stopped at the bridge for a couple of minutes and looked out onto the large river.

I sat down steadily in the middle, dangling my feet over the edge and loving the thrill it gave me. I sighed, if any of the boys were here they would probably instantly think I was committing suicide. I wasn't, and I knew that, but they wouldn't care. All they would see would be an opportunity and they would see it as a sign.

I hunched, pulling my hood over and then hugging myself tightly with one arm and gripping the edge tightly so I didn't fall. The drop wasn't too big, maybe 10 feet. Faint footsteps thudded down the bridge, growing louder and louder, stopping right next to me. 'Great,' I thought, 'company.'

"Hey," the voice spoke softly, and suddenly a new found appreciation for the only lamp on the street having a broken fuse that no one had bothered to fix appeared.

I waved, not daring speak.

"My names Luke, what's yours?"

I didn't reply, I couldn't dare, instead, I opted to stare out into the distance. Waiting for him to talk.

"I-uh-you're not one for talking eh?" He asked, slouching and hanging his legs over. I gave a quick shrug, controlling my breathing while the walls around my chest were threatening to collapse any minute. This was my sitting spot. Why was he here?

"What are you doing here?" he laughed softly. My breath hitched.

"Not many people know about this spot, it just one of those spots no one talks about because it's where people go to work things out," he continued, realising I wasn't going to talk anytime soon.

The silence was only deafening after that. But a good silence at the same time. A comfortable silence. I could feel my heart trying to escape the cage but at the same time I could feel the comfort radiating off of Luke.

"Since we probably won't see each other again, mind if I rant?" he asked, nudging my side playfully.

In return, I shrugged. Not knowing what to do.

"Anyway, my best friend is going to therapy and I - I shouldn't be telling you this haha," he sniffed.

I let out a shaky breath. Luke looked out, taking a deep breath. "I screwed up so big. And my friends, who are hers as well, are upset with her as well because she tried to take her life."

He let out a few sobs, crying into the cuffs of his hoodie. "If it wasn't for the fact that a photo of us went viral ... I ..." he couldn't continue.

Sobs echoed throughout the night as he grabbed my shoulders and pressed his lips to mine before pulling away, looking me dead in the eye. "I'm so sorry Tay, I didn't mean to call it a mistake and I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry..."

I cut him off this time, pressing my lips to his and feeling his body melt between my fingers. I could feel the tears from his face as they got pressed to mine. The softness of his lips and the racing of my heart as I kept my hand on his chest. I felt like a drug who was giving him a high.

The entire night seemed to vanish as he silently took my hand and walked me back to his. His hand gripped mine tightly, no matter how much our hands were sweating. 

"How long did you know Luke? That it was me." I whispered as we got to the front door of his.

He chuckled, "I followed you." He kissed my nose once before opening the door.

I grabbed his hand as he entered, stopping him in his tracks. All you could hear was our breathing but that still felt too loud. "Luke." His hands grip tightened.

"Taylah go on a date with me tonight."

"Luke, I - if your fans found out, you've seen what they said about us, they would never." I couldn't finish. I could live with it, sure, but could Luke? Knowing how I impulsively reacted the first time? Having a constant fear that I would hurt myself again and that he couldn't do anything about it?

Dating me would be so hard on him. I don't need someone to love to make me better, because it wouldn't. Him and I both knew that. I was better, and I was getting better at the same time. But he didn't know that. Sometime's I wondered if he only kept me around out of pity.

But why would someone who had the worse troubles do that to another? 

"Taylah, please," he started.

"I can't Luke, your fans come first and you and I both know how toxic they would make our relationship if we did get past 'just dating'. Just, I'm sorry Luke, but please just forget about the bridge, I should've thought before reacting and doing what I did."

I walked into the house, leaving him at the door and collected my things into a pile before falling asleep. At one point I swear I felt the mattress dip down and someone sobbing but I was too sleepy to react.

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AUTHORS NOTE

Hello, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and good luck to all those who started at school this year (any year level I mean) a few weeks ago. Study hard.

Please comment what you thought, something for me to improve on etc. Please also vote and share this story with your friends!!

Mara xx