Battle Scars (l.brooks fan fiction)

Chapter 8

Voices, gosh the voices that were swirling around in my head right now.

Make them them stop.

I heard shrill beeping, like an alarm clock but not really. "Shut up," I groaned. Pain shot through my arm as someone squeezed it. I let out a whimper and rolled over, only causing more pain.

"Is she awake?" a voice hushed, I could recognise it but not quite put my finger on it.

"Yes, she is slightly conscious, she's lucky you found her in time. What did you say her name was?" a very loud voice boomed.

"Tay- Taylah Carmen sir."

"It seems we're had her in here before for a similar situation although it doesn't specify what, just a suicide attempt. I've got a list of places to send her for therapy."

My eyes opened and I shot up into sitting position. "Excuse me what?" I cried to the doctor who was standing in front of me.

"I said I have a number of places for you to look at fo-"

"I know what you fucking said alright? I don't need therapy, don't I Luke?" I said, looking to Luke for back up. Luke gave me a guilty look and turned his head away.

"Oh my gosh, you think I'm a freak don't you? And here I thought you were my best friend because you actually liked me as a human, not out of pity," I growled, ripping out the needles that were stuck in me and swinging my legs off of the hard hospital mattress. I swiftly walked to the door but had trouble opening it.

"Miss, you're going to collapse please come back!" the doctor worried. I laughed and finally made it through the door before my legs buckled and I fell onto my back, I heard a voice call my name and Luke's head came into sight.

He picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing my lips up to his ear, "you did this to me," I whispered angrily before everything went black.

I woke up again at god knows what time but everything was silent... except for Luke's and someone else snore. I tried lifting my right arm but felt a needle in it, great, I had been hooked up to the machinery again.

I looked to my left, past Luke and saw who the other person snoring was... it was my dad.

"Dad?" I whispered in disbelief.

He stirred and opened one eye before shutting it again and falling back asleep.

"Dad!" I whispered louder. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Tay?"

I nodded and sat up slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the dark. I was in a room that had no other patients. What are the bets that my dad and Luke put money together just so I could have privacy?

Dad walked over and sat on the end up the bed, sighing and looking down at his feet. Tear drops slid his cheeks and onto the pearly white sheets.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he sobbed, keeping his face facing down, "Taylah we've organised your therapy. Dr Piper will see you once a week in her office," he sighed, wiping his tears away and lifting his head and and turning to face me.

I sucked in a breath, "I don't need therapy dad, heaps of people get through these problems without therapy."

"Look around you Taylah," he sighed, gesturing around the room, "does it look like we're at home where you can just clean up your wrist and act like nothing happened? No, you're in a hospital room and the nurses and doctors are saying this was a suicide attempt, I'm sorry."

If looks could kill, the look I gave dad at that moment would have killed about everyone in a kilometer radius. "Dad it wasn't a suicide attempt okay? It was an accident an-"

"If Luke hadn't of come in and saved you, you would would have been dead Taylah, DEAD."

He stood up and walked out of the room. So much for that pep-talk.

I was discharged that day, dad hadn't returned but Luke stood by me. He bought me a hot chocolate and himself a coffee. "For the princess," he sung, handing me my hot chocolate.

I laughed and took a sip of the extremely hot hot chocolate. I pulled the paper cup away from my mouth almost instantly before airing out my tongue like a dog.

We walked to Beau's car where the other boys were waiting for me. The car trip back to mine was very silent. I could feel the disappointment radiating out of them. I hung my head down and just stared at the road through the window.

"Your first therapist session is tomorrow at one p.m," Beau sighed. Great, everyone knew I was going to be seeing a therapist.

"I'm not going, I don't need to," I mumbled, pressing my forehead against the smooth glass window.

Jai sighed, "this is all my fault," his voice shook. Everyone stayed silent, "I shouldn't of mentioned not going online."

"I shouldn't of left the house," Luke whispered.

"You shouldn't of signed me up for therapy," I growled, turning around and looking at Luke, "you saw how well I was doing and I cracked one time so now I suddenly need a therapist? You're a joke Luke."

Tears ran down his face, I felt slight sympathy for him but oh well, shouldn't of put me in therapy when he has been in this position before. I turned around and resumed my position of squished glass face.

We made it to my home in no time. There was a big black Honda in the drive way.

"Fuck," I mumbled, "mum is home."

Beau sighed and muttered something to Jai before pulling out and going to theirs.  The house felt cozy and fresh.

'3 months, 3 months' I repeated to myself, slowly sipping on the mint hot chocolate Daniel had handed to her only seconds ago.

The boys busied themselves, setting up a bed for my while Daniel kept me company.

"So, therapy?" He cocked his head sideways.

I let a small smile escape my lips, if this was his idea of a pep talk, he was sure doing a bad job.

"I'd prefer not to think about it Danny boy," I sighed, resting my cup down. The rest of the boys shot side ward glances every now and again but other than that they didn't want to talk to me.

I could tell by Daniel's guilty expression that he had been the one obligated to talk to me so I wouldn't feel alone.

That night was extremely quite after that. They were disappointing in me, I get it, I was a wreck and I was breaking but couldn't they see that I needed their support?

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the tears building in my eyes. I chocked them back before checking to make sure everyone was asleep. I changed into jeans and a plain grey tee and shoved a jacket on, quickly pulling my hair into a bun.

I knew where I needed to go.

I knew where I needed to clear my mind.

Where it all started, the bridge.

----------

A/N

I'm sorry for not updating, major case of writers block but I should be back up and running now! I know this chapter is shorter than my usual but that's not a problem because I'm not setting a word goal anymore, it can make a bit of my work looked extremely dragged out.

So therapy! That should be cool to explore.

What do you think will happen at the bridge?

Until next time - Mara